The Odometer is About to get Half Way to 70...

... or so my Dad was kind enough to remind me earlier last week. :-)

My girls Salsa and ChaCha are ready to party!

So, my birthday is kind of a big deal. Not for anyone except me. My birthday is a unique experience to me, and I think your birthday should be a unique experience for you too! Even if you don't like to mark the day with a big public celebration, you should take the time out to do something you love, or be around the people you love, or try something new. Heck, do all three!

It's rare that I really promote Dr. Seuss, but in this occasion the man is spot on: "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." That should be true every day, but none so much as when your birthday rolls around.

So why, you may ask, do I make a big deal of my birthday? Well there are quite a few reasons actually...

First, is because it wasn't that long ago that I couldn't really see myself having many more birthdays. I really didn't have an eye on the future and one of the struggles I had as I hit my teens and twenties was depression. So I was almost surprised every year when my birthday would come around and I would feel like Whew! Made it another year! How the heck did that happen? For some reason depression has this big taboo around it as far as topics one might discuss, more so than just about any other topic. You know what though? Depression is a thing, it happens to some people, it happens a lot more often than you think it does because no one ever wants to talk about it. Since I have been maybe 27 or 28 I have become really good at recognizing when I'm in Depression's grasp and I manage to deal with it pretty okay, but that was not always the case. So now, I like to celebrate out loud that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere!

An Ornament from a family friend "Celebrating Adoption"

Another is because I am adopted. I am a proud, wear it on my sleeve, fly the flag if there is one, adopted kid. Don't get my description mixed up, the family I've been with since I was 5 days old is my family. I couldn't imagine feeling the same way about them for anyone else. I love the fact that fate landed me in the family it did, and my life is all that much more rich because of how and where I grew up. There is however a larger than small piece of me that needs to celebrate me. I am part of this wonderful rich family tree, but I'm not genetically tied to it. I need to take time out to recognize and be proud of myself because when it comes down to it... I am the foundation of my own family tree, or as I like to put it my family tree starts with me! 



Now this always brings the one question to everyone's mind.... "Did you or do you ever want to find your biological family?" My answer to that has always been that I am here if they want to find me, but I am not going to make any great strides to find them. Now, there was an opportunity that I kind of fell into (the details of which are too long and sorted to explain here) just after I turned 28 where I was one person removed from having a phone conversation with a biological relative. The goal was to see if I could glean any medical history about my biological family. This person, called a woman who would technically be my biological maternal grandmother and asked if my birth date means anything to them, and if it did, would they be willing to share any medical history information. The response was clear, "No the birth date means nothing to us, but there is no medical history to share, tell her that we do not want to be contacted." 

That was the message I received from this intermediary of sorts. Well hmmm.... It took a minute for me to absorb that. Basically I interpret that as being a flat out denial of my existence, and quite frankly that makes me angry. I am a strong, powerful, independent spirit and to be told that I don't exist really sticks in my craw. I wanted to yell it from the rooftops that "I EXIST DAMMIT!" So I make sure that on the date that I know at least one biological relative thinks of me, that I am off somewhere living it up doing something that makes me happy and feel alive.

My Tattoo Celebrates my Roots

A few years later, I was in the small town in Wyoming where I was born, with my Dad, visiting the doctor that delivered me and subsequently set up my adoption. We also spent time with this very kind lady who was the intermediary for that fateful message. I asked after that phone conversation from a few years prior and learned that the woman who might be a biological relative had since passed away. Thus ending any chance I will ever have in my life of ever being able to seek out any biological family. (long story, but trust me the lead is dead.) I'm not all that broken up about it, I just have even more reason to celebrate the person I've become.

Generally I insist on having a dance lesson ON my birthday, at least I did during the years of dancing because it is what really makes me feel alive and as previously stated many times it feeds my spirit. THIS year since my birthday is on a weekend and I have not even checked with Steve to see if Get On The Floor is open on that day, it seems I'm getting something even better! I don't know all the details, because some of my friends have taken it upon themselves to plan a soiree for me, but I know there will be dancing! I am continually honored and humbled by how good the people in my life are to me, I am indebted to them for the rest of my life.

The last big reason I make a HUGE point to celebrate my birthday is because it is the time that I attack what would normally be called "New Year's Resolutions". Only that always seems forced to me, and far be it from me to do anything the same way as anyone else! I take the time around my birthday to take stock in what I want to keep in my life, and what I'd like to change. I then attempt to outline a plan for how to make those changes.

Does anyone else celebrate their birthday in a similar manner?

This year a big thing for me is to work on Time Management, and to be extremely mindful of my eating habits (which generally means that I need to EAT, as I am not overweight because of over eating, but rather from lack of consuming enough calories and my metabolism is in a constant flux with starvation). In addition to making sure that I am mindful of my eating habits (I refuse to use the word "diet" because I think it comes with ugly meanings and nasty memories) I will start to make and reach goals in physical fitness, whether it be weight loss, or increasing my stamina, or both. I will see an improvement there.

If you made or are making promises to change in this coming year, what are yours?

Would you like to work on them together?

Next week I will write about the bits of dancing that have happened, I didn't have a lesson the previous week so there wasn't much to miss. And of course you'll hear about my birthday celebration. :-)

What is your favorite way to celebrate life? I'd love to hear it!

Don't forget, if you're in Chicago you can find me at Get On The Floor Dance Company, I'd love for you to come on by and join me in the Ballroom fun!

Fear and Loathing in Weight Loss

So I write about my loves and I write about my loathes and I write about my fears... always managing to hang on to one or two grains of me for myself. One can't possibly truly go all in right? Well...

So who out there is ready to lose weight in 2014? Anyone know what that really means for themselves? I'm not even really sure I know what that all means for me and this is my second time around on the weight loss mission.

When I think about this path that I'm back on, and how excited I am to be back on it. How I am grateful beyond words that not only did I manage to find my true love of Ballroom again, but it's managed to find me right back, I still have some reservations...

There is a lot of fear that comes with losing weight. Do you know what I mean?

There is a fear of not being able to be my same self, don't get me wrong here... I rather like who I am... I'm just not a fan of what I look like. There is a fear of not having the same people in my life. There is a huge fear of not being treated the same way.

Have you ever felt that way when you made a big change?

Here's what's funny about it, the way a fat girl is treated in public isn't nice. It seems the way a tall fat girl is treated can be a bit rougher than my petite counterparts. Although my theory is that I get treated the way I do more because of my shape than my actual size. I am not built with an hour glass figure, I can't wear an empire waist without looking totally pregnant, and if I wear a baseball cap in public someone will address me as sir at some point during the day. I usually describe myself as either "coming from good Polish peasant stock" or as an "NFL football player w/ a rack." In all fairness my size actually intimidates some people from treating me poorly, nothing like clamming up the idiots that may shout things at me at the mall because their dumb asses are actually afraid I might really sit on them.

But that's what I know... it's what I'm comfortable with, I don't know what it would be like to have that perception change. Ever since 7th grade I'm hesitant about hugging someone I don't know super well because I was constantly informed that it is disgusting to touch a fat person. (Remember, if you hear something enough... you start to believe it.) So what would it be like to be different? Admittedly Ballroom dancing helped me change that perception about myself while in the studio and amongst people I know, but this girl still doesn't get asked to dance much by unknown partners if she goes out to dance. It doesn't even offend me anymore, it seems perfectly logical to me that I wouldn't get asked to dance when there are so many other seemingly more attractive options. My head is on a constant swivel any time I go anywhere there is seating because I currently exceed the weight limit posted on some items like, outdoor furniture, plastic furniture, and anything that is inflatable, and even some folding chairs. What would it be like to not have to do that? I get paranoid anytime I share a two person bench with someone because I already weigh as much as two people, well I definitely did... and I definitely do weigh as much as two petite people now. Don't even know what it would be like to not have to worry about it.

I can't possibly be the only one that thinks this way right?

Hell... I've even broken my bed before... (I sat on one corner too often when changing clothes, but still...what do you think that does to a person's head?) .... Like how I explained that one out for you? I couldn't possibly have you think that I laid down in bed one night and the whole thing just fell through.. which has happened to people I know.

The rational side of me knows that a lot of what I feel is perceived is all in my head. On a logical level I know that, but that doesn't mean I can rationalize it out. Yet.

Does this make sense to you?

Much like Stockholm Syndrome a person becomes very used to the way things are, the way they perceive themselves in the world around them. With  something such as being obese, which is prejudiced against in a similar way to race, or sexual identities, or anything perceived as different, an obese person can actually change their situation. Well not everyone can, but some can and many have chosen to. But what happens to the way the person perceives themselves when the world around them begins to perceive them differently? I think there is a lot of catching up that has to happen.

What would it be like to go into a department store and have the sales people want to help me? The only place that happens now is in the stores that are designed around "people like me," or the establishments where I have set myself up as a regular customer.

I fear change, well not all change, I've actually worked at interpreting change to mean adventure and I really think those two words should be next to each other in the Thesaurus if they're not already. The change that comes with deciding to lose weight, or as I prefer to think of it, be more fit, and guarantee that my life is going to be different... forever... Yeah that ranks right up there with my fear of heights, and jellyfish.

I'm better prepared this time than last, I have more knowledge about my own body, more knowledge on nutrition, and even more knowledge on anatomy and physiology. I have an increased understanding of why people think the way they do and why I think the way I do. I had no idea what to expect the last time around, and I think I have a better team around me to help me out if I stumble, or lose my way. 

Having a team around you is key. Life changes can very rarely be successfully done all on your own.

If you're looking for a team, I'd be happy to join you in your big grand adventure. :-)

What scares you about change? What excites you about it?

I think I'm probably most excited about the things I'll be able to do as I get more fit. Like an hour long cardio work out, I'd like to do the splits again, I'd like to ride horses again at some point as well. I'd also like to be able to dance and wear my pro instructor out.... and not because he has to do most of the work. :-)

So... I'm scared, I loathe being scared, but I'm excited too... and blissfully most days the excitement trumps the fear. I want to be able to tell you that I'm just going to suck it up and move forward, and I will as much as I can....but there are going to be days that aren't that easy. Would you like to come along so we can cheer on each other?

Don't forget... if you'd like to join me in this big adventure and you're in Chicago you can find me, dancing with Steve, Franny, and the Get On The Floor team at Http://www.getonthefloordanceco.com

Video of the Week! Same Sex Ballroom Dancing!

Hello Readers!
So every now and again I feel like I'm a little ahead of my time... at least for my corner of the world. In October of 2009 I wrote about Same Sex Ballroom Dancing (SSBR) mostly because I had seen a couple audition for So You Think You Can Dance and I was slightly offended that the judges weren't more open to it. Quite honestly I can see how it may take a minute for the average audience member to take in the idea of two people of the same gender dancing ballroom, but for dance professionals it shouldn't be any big surprise that Rumba was dang good.

The first time I saw to men dancing Waltz together was back when I started ballroom. Two of the male pros from the studio I attended were practicing their following skills, because every professional should be good at both. I hope to one day be good at both as well, because it is a true mark or an accomplished Ballroom dancer in my opinion. Shortly after that I had a gay couple who wanted to take a guest lesson for me at that same studio, they told me to ask the owners if it was okay. (I thought it was silly to have to ask, who wouldn't want to have a shot at new students?) I asked and was informed that my friends would only be allowed to come in on Saturday when next to no one would be around, because a gay couple dancing may offend some of the more conservative clientele. Had I been older, or wiser, or bolder, or the person I am now... I would have held my ground against this level of discrimination. I was also informed that the pros would not be allowed to dance in same gender practices during open hours any longer for the same reason. I personally find this completely ridiculous.

Now in 2014 I am pleased to say that Get On The Floor Dance Company is one of the first, if not THE first Ballroom Dance company in Chicago to openly and proudly welcome couples of the LGBTQ community! I LOVE this about them! (I love this organization for more reasons than I can count, but this is one of the biggies!) I don't think it's at all right to deny any individual the joy of dancing, much less because they happen to love someone of the same gender.

There are lots of reasons why I actually really like to watch SSBR, the choreography is really interesting because the partnership can change leading and following roles and often do so very seamlessly. There have been many times I have gone down a You Tube rabbit hole of SSBR to study the lead/follow transitions. (Yep... I'm a total geek like that) If you go back to the original post on SSBR I'm also in love with some of the costume designs... yes, that is a man in an orange tail suit with floats. ;-)

Video 1 this week is from the World Championship Latin A Final Round of the worldOutgames that took place in Antwerp this past year. This couple is from the Czech Republic and took 2nd place. There was a couple from the US and they took 3rd. :-)



Not to be outdone, the ladies got their chance to dance as well! This is the International (formerly known as Standard) C Final (the letters refer to the age of the dancers competing) No lead/follow switching here, but still fun to watch.



So, if you're in Chicago, coming to visit, and want to dance... Get On The Floor Dance Company is the place to do it! Also.. I should mention that there is a SALE going on lesson packages RIGHT NOW through Jan 5th... The already affordable private lessons are now EVEN MORE AFFORDABLE! How can you NOT want to try Ballroom Dancing in Chicago now?? Click above, call Steve, 773-540-5901 tell him Kat made you do it. ;-)

Happy Dancing into this New Year!

Happy New Year!

2013 wasn't a bad year. Not really, I accomplished quite a few things, just not a lot of what I had set out to do... but then that's the way of things when one allows themselves to leave their authentic selves isn't it?

365 days ago I was a year removed from ballroom, but it was constantly at the forefront of my mind. I was still holding on to hope that I could be self employed without the aide of a real team. I was thinking about starting school. I was thinking about moving away from Chicago... to a small city that doesn't have a stitch of Ballroom dancing anywhere near it.

2013 saw me start and excel in College. It saw me become more knowledgeable about Nutrition than I ever thought was imaginable. I made it a full year without stitches or other major injury of some sort. (If I have a "great crash/fall/incident of 2013" that I'm missing, please remind me...because I can't remember a single one.) I joined a gym. I got to know myself probably better than I ever had before. It saw me begin new adventures, fall flat on my face, I got a few rugs pulled out from under me... but you know what? I live to tell the tales. I recognized that I CAN NOT live life without passion, and that I was meant to use my skills and knowledge to help others.

I didn't lose touch with many friends, even reconnected with a few old acquaintances and made a few new friends.

New Year's Eve marks the start of My Month... I don't have resolutions yet, because to start anything on New Year's Day feels very forced to me. I still have 12 days before my own personal New Year begins... :-)

However, one of my favorite things about being on this third rock from the Sun is when the world stops to celebrate. New Year's Eve and Day is one of those rare times when hope springs eternal and the world takes pause to celebrate the possible. Even though most resolutions are broken before they begin, the intention is there and for those that can hold on to it... they can transform themselves for the better.

I feel compelled to share my favorite modern day poem. It's one of those things I read often to put perceived chaos into perspective. The layout is my choice, the words were written by the forward thinkers at Holstee:

This is YOUR LIFE. 

Do what you love, and do it often.

If you don't like something, change it. 

If you don't like your job, quit.
If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV.

If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you START DOING THE THINGS YOU LOVE. 

Stop over analyzing, life is simple. 

All emotions are beautiful. 

When you eat, appreciate every last bite. 

Open your mind, arms and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences. 

Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them. 

TRAVEL OFTEN; Getting lost will help you find yourself.

Some opportunities only come once, seize them. 

Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them so GO OUT AND START CREATING. 

LIFE IS SHORT. 

LIVE YOUR DREAM AND SHARE YOUR PASSION.

Making a fundemental change is not an overnight process, but it can be done. Take the journey with me... let's be inspired together. 

May your 2014 bring you everything you need, most of what you want, and allow you to be inspired for at least part of every single day!