Hi gang! Wow.. I'm still overwhelmed with all the outpouring of support for me and my routine... THANK YOU again! Words cannot describe what that meant to me! Just as that adventure comes to a close a new one is on the horizon!
The Chicago Region of Fred Astaire is having their first annual Mini Match! Let me explain what I know about it and then I'll tell you how I got involved. This Mini Match is a Team Match amongst all the Fred Astaire Studio's in the Region, it is only open to Newcomers and people who have never really competed before (like me). In this Team Match each student dances with their instructors or an amateur couple that doesn't compete together can dance too. These dances are graded on a proficiency scale (just like testing). Each student or couple's scores are not for themselves but to be entered in for the studio as a TEAM. The team with the highest scores wins. So it's like a competition, in fact I know of some very large independent competitions that have Team Matches as part of their event schedule, but it's not every couple for themselves it's every studio working together for the best result.
Now, I am still unemployed (I don't want to talk about it) so of course I figured this would just be another one of those things I'd turn down under the ever present "I don't compete" or "I don't have the finances" reasons. Then one day about two weeks ago I received an e-mail from a reader that stated simply that it would be really good if I'd be able to compete in this Mini Match. This reader was SOOO emphatic about my being able to do it that they, while asking to remain anonymous, would be willing to pay for one of my entries. (at a cost of $39, this was nothing short of AMAZING!) I quickly but politely declined the offer, knowing that I couldn't put up the rest of the money needed to be a part of this event (4 entries are required, with a maximum of 10 allowed).
However, you know this set my brain into overdrive trying to crunch numbers and figure out how I could maybe do it. If I were employed...I'd be in.. done deal. I'm sick and tired of having to turn everything that's not a lesson down, but I also know that I can't possibly put the money out for this, and the deadline for payment of July 15th was too close even if I were to get hired someplace tomorrow. So even as I was talking myself into and out of wanting to do this Mini Match about every five minutes, it just wasn't a possibility so it didn't matter. I was however so INCREDIBLY touched by the idea that I have a fan that was so wanting me to further my dancing that, still honoring their anonymity I shared this tale with my friends last Friday, including but not limited to, Captain and Jem.
Here's where I get overwhelmed and touched again, I am telling you I have the most WONDERFUL support system in my life! Just as soon as I'm telling of this anonymous donor and how I had turned down their kind offer... Captain pipes up "I'll sponsor you for an entry!" and then next to her Jem chimes in "I'll do one too!" Oh my goodness I was virtually speechless! The mere thought that they would help me on this was unreal! I politely declined, because I am not the type to take offers of this nature. Yet, the thoughts of a possible chance at this seemed within my grasp, ran circles in my head.
I thought on all of this for nearly a week, (in fact one of my friends gets a big thank you for listening to me rant back and forth for and against this all day every day...so THANK YOU). Then last Thursday I was at lunch with my dance friend Ellen, where as we were catching up, I was telling her about how amazing people are being about this Mini Match thing, and how everyone is coming out of the woodwork in wanting me to do it, but that I couldn't and wouldn't take them up on it because it's not that important. Before I could even fully understand what was going on... I had a check in my hand, and a fourth sponsor! I was AGAIN touched and overwhelmed by the kindness...if I was the type of girl to cry I would have busted out in tears all over the table.
So now, by the grace and generosity of my wonderful friends and fans I am going to be participating in the First Annual Mini Match! I have to tell you, I was able to tell RT and he's a bit floored by it all, because last we spoke about it I was completely shooting him down and giving him no chance at getting me to sign up! I cannot wait to see Largo's reaction! In fact..there are a lot of people that are probably going to have some kind of reaction about it! I don't even know what to expect yet... not really. I do know that it's very casual, no ballroom dresses or anything of that nature, which means the dancing is going to be that much more important! Still, I'm not doing this for me... I have sponsors I have to do proud! I may end up working harder for this, than I did that routine!
Mark your calendars kids! Mini-Match is on August 14th and will be held at the South Barrington Studio!
I will of course let you know all about it and what's going on in my head throughout it all... for right now though I'm still in shock!
What a whirlwind this week was! Two really good practices... I FINALLY got my act together on the routine on Wednesday. Better late than never right? As soon as that happened I officially knew the choreography... the rest of the time was just making sure I could just DANCE the thing!
Friday June 19th... the weather was HORRID! Terrible thunderstorms plagued the area all day, the humidity was messing with my traction on the dance floor all during our early rehearsal...but still I challenged the rain and made it to the studio for a group class that was being held before the party. Shortly after my arrival RT came up to me and asked why I was so early...
"Well I was finished getting ready...[STP] is having his rhythm class so I thought I'd come to that, it's better than my sitting around waiting for the party to start."
"Do you want to practice a little? Are you nervous???" RT asked, seeming very concerned.
"No, we don't need to practice... I don't think... I'm pretty sure I'm doing ok thanks." I responded.
I joined the Rhythm class already in progress and turns out STP had us working on lock steps...which was good because my routine has them... but I had to duck out early because my ankle was beginning to hurt, and I was beginning to get nervous. Once in the main ballroom I found my pain medication and took it... there was nothing that was going to keep me from trying my best. I then joined some fellow students on the couch to chat and try and shake my nerves... for some reason they were really starting to build.
As the party started I got a quick Hustle in with Largo and was asked to dance by a few students and while the crowd was smaller than normal because of the weather, I became overly concerned with being stepped on... the last few times I'd been on a remotely crowded floor I got stepped on pretty badly, one I received three weeks ago still hurts. Again, NOTHING was going to keep me from trying my best! HFC came over and gave me a quick re-assurance that she was nervous too (She and STP were dancing the professional number) which I thought was very sweet of her. I danced with TSD who offered me some advice on my Rumba... I wasn't following too well... my nerves were creeping up on me again. As the clock ticked along, I became very anxious in waiting for my family and friends to show up... While I waited I visited with Bonnie and Michael who generally sit away from the crowds. Between songs RT came up and looked concerned...
"Why are you over here? Are you over here so you don't get asked to dance? Are you ok?"
"No, [RT] I'm fine, I'm visiting with Bonnie for a second... I'll dance... and I told you I don't want to wear myself out too much before we dance." I responded... this must have been the 4th or 5th time he'd checked on me... I was getting concerned that he was so concerned...but decided to not worry about it... he's the pro.. he's got nothing to be worried about... this routine is a walk in the park compared to what he can do.
Then I noticed that my parents had arrived...so I ran over to say hi and make some introductions... RT joined me to say hello then went back to dancing... I chatted with my folks for a bit and then found my "proper" place on the side of the dance floor so RT would quit worrying. I don't know why he was worried... I didn't get asked to dance... :-)
Shortly thereafter two of my neighbors showed up... they are commonly referred to as my "neighbor moms" A girl couldn't ask for better neighbors! Before I could even get over to say hi... RT was there graciously introducing himself... let me tell you, he left quite the impression on them. :-) Then KIT (who was hosting this evening) announced for the studio's favorite line dance the "Cupid Shuffle." So RT and I joined the floor (and one of my neighbors did too!) for that... after being there for three years it's very hard to get out of doing any group participation stuff... even though I do try to get out of it...every time. Oh ya'll ELLEN came! My dance friend Ellen who let me write about her first competition...She has since taken a break from lessons, but she came out to see me dance!
The next thing I knew... I was chatting with my guests, another friend arrived, and the announcement was made for all those performing tonight to get ready. Ok... here we go! I excused myself and went to the back to change... Nerves running at full steam! I couldn't even get undressed I was shaking so bad! This was not a good sign! Somehow I did manage to get myself changed... I tried to touch up my makeup...but my hand was shaking so bad I didn't want to even attempt it. I started my "Ok... I could die now...that would be fine." mantra... because at this point dying was the ONLY thing that was going to get me out of this performance! Then HFC needed help with the closures on her dress... that actually helped me, helping someone else helped me focus.
As everyone performing that evening was getting ready... it seemed as though we had a lot of time... this was because KIT was running a group participation event out in the studio... I was beginning to feel sick... and I couldn't find RT... where the heck did my partner go? I couldn't find RT.. but Captain was there to help me pin my dress and to make sure I was still surviving... I snacked on one of my ever present fruit snacks to try and offset whatever my nerves might want to do to my blood sugar...and then FINALLY found RT, he was changed and all ready to go... my stomach settled and while everything was going on out front I watched HFC and STP practice a bit of their Bolero routine... RT was treating his shoes with some water, I decided that was a good plan and took advantage of his offer to help... the floor was kinda slick out there and water, while it's not a great idea, will help you gain traction for a short time when applied to the soles of your dance shoes. Then RT asked me (for the 10th or 15th time) if I wanted to practice small steps right there in the back... I quickly agreed.
There we were in front of the refrigerator and sink in the dark walking through the routine in tiny steps, for the first time I was actually counting along with RT... who knew?... I guess I did pick up a few of the counts along the way... we got through the entire thing...no hesitation... I think we both felt better... well I know I did. I then looked out into the ballroom and saw my sister had arrived... our mom then made her wave to me... that felt a bit like grade school... :-) RT and I peeked out to watch the other couples dance (there were two dances before ours, and then the pro routine after)... RT making sure he had me by the hand the whole time. I in all honesty didn't want to see anyone else dancing, I just wanted to quietly wait for my cue. I did have to let go of RT for a second because I remembered that my own camera needed someone to film...so I quickly asked CWS if he would be so kind as to man the lens and he agreed...then it was right back to RT.... So that meant that between my camera, the studio camera... Michael (of Bonnie's Belle Gowns) and my folks... we had FOUR video cameras trained on us... no pressure.
Here's where my memory gets a little sketchy... I remember RT leading me to our starting position and KIT talking a bit...some applause... I remember the word "love" was used a lot...and I remember that she sounded a bit emotional....but all curiosity into that zipped away when I heard the music... of actually dancing... I remember we stared a measure later than usual...because I had a false start... which is fine we weren't actually choreographed to the song...we just had a song I had picked to use. Ummmm... I remember right at the time I put my leg on RT's hip... it was going well... but it wasn't quite as energetic as we had practiced...Then I remember yelling at myself in my head because I wasn't even trying to stop my spins... they were finishing messy... which was promptly followed by the voice in my head screaming Drop it...don't think about it...DANCE...and then I remember looking directly at two of the four video cameras... which caused some reaction from the pros... wish you could see it better... OH! I remember mouthing the words to the song, and then stopping myself because a friend said that didn't look right... And I remember my biggest problem with this routine came out and bit me.. the stop right before the cha cha box... it looks like I'm about to fall over... because I couldn't control my stops... and the shoulder on the dress fell again...but it was pinned to my bra strap so at least that wasn't showing... Then I remember what has always been my favorite part of the routine... when RT and I are facing the same way... hard to point out..but in my head that means "home stretch baby!" and I only have a few more measures before we're done. Once finished and we started our bows... (mine look ridiculous..but I was just lucky I was still standing to be honest) all I could think...and I mean ALL I could think was "Ok, turn... bow curtsy something... walk to RT..he's going to turn me... and I'm turning.... I'm going to FACE THE OTHER WALL... FACE THE OTHER WALL... Good! Facing the other wall! Ok...bow, curtsy, something... ok.. go to RT...Why is RT hugging me out here???... GET ME OUTTA HERE!" That is seriously the exact monologue that was in my head... I didn't hear applause... I didn't hear my name... Nothing... As we approached the place we started where all the pros were standing I remember a lot of hugging...but don't remember anything that was said... my next thought was "That must have gone ok...because I don't want to throw up right this second."
RT and I watched HFC and STP's Bolero...it was wonderful as usual... and I asked RT not to change so we could get pictures afterwards... Once the performances were finished there was a bit of dancing and I grabbed STP for a little waltz...chatted with my guests... my neighbor moms' left... and the lights came up for the end of the party... RT and I chatted with my sister and her boyfriend...then with my parents... for a bit there we were inseparable.... then with Bonnie...and then it was a blur again... I thanked everyone I saw for coming... then remembered that I had to change clothes... I couldn't go out in my cha cha dress! After changing I chatted with RT for a minute I had some things I wanted to clear up real quick.
On my way out I stopped by the front desk where KIT was back and doing some kind of paperwork... I thanked her for the introduction, and she said that RT and I had received a standing ovation... "We did?? I didn't see any of that..." I responded, surprised! "Yes, you did... I have never seen the studio give a student a standing ovation like that before." She stated. I was shocked..."Really? I missed all of that! Wow....Thank you again... this was really special for me... have a good weekend!" And I walked out of the studio...
I didn't want to see the video... I knew hardly any of it would make me happy... but while out with my friends I did watch it on my camera... I was quiet through the whole thing... disappointed in what I was seeing... which has nothing to do with anything and I may or may not address it later...but then the end came and the audience did stand up! I got surprised like I was just shocked with static... "Oh! We DID get a standing ovation! Thanks guys!"
My greatest memory for this evening... is the overwhelming sense of feeling honored. I feel honored to be able to call RT my instructor... that felt like dancing with a friend I've spent years with... oh wait... I have! :-) I feel honored to have such a great dance family. I don't know what I did to deserve you all.. but I'm gonna do my damnedest to make sure I don't lose you!
After several weeks of trials tribulations... a little arguing... a little of my personal life butting in... and all that... We are now... finally at the week of performance! This Friday at some point between 9-9:30 PM CST please think good thoughts for me if you can't be there!
We've made changes, most of which were done to "dumb it down" for me... seriously! There were two spots in particular... I thought I could have done it.. but no...just TOO fast! RT has also suggested some changes that would make me more comfortable... and I decided not to do those changes... no point in having a routine if at least part of it isn't going to scare you right?
As of this moment I'm feeling pretty good about the performance, but I have to tell you it goes back and forth... has been for a few weeks now. Actually the last few weeks have been pretty dark with confidence and body image... something I'm constantly battling, sometimes publicly...and sometimes it gets too dark for even ME to share with others. But I look forward to the rest of the week feeling like today... reasonably optimistic, with a non-stop soundtrack of my chosen song and a few segments of my routine being drilled over and over. None of which will actually be discussed here as I don't want anyone in attendance to do anything but take my performance as a whole, and not inspect it for what I see as flaws. Trust me... I'm sure I'll have a blow by blow with video for you all afterwards.
Some pre performance preparation that doesn't actually pertain to the dance steps is going on too... I've freshened up my red hair with my new favorite more copper like tone. I've started the self tanner and actual tanning although the sun hasn't been out much here in Chicago...so I'm getting what I can...shoulders got a bit burned today! (YAY no Garbage bags for my back this time!) I have the daily reminder of how high maintenance it is to perform... I enjoy the whole preparedness of tanning, doing my nails, hair, makeup, sparkly jewelry, fun smelly lotions and all that... but at my core I'm really pretty down to earth and enjoy not having ALL of that as my daily routine.
More importantly almost is that I'm celebrating three years of dancing at the same time... I'm celebrating the third anniversary of the day I made steps unwittingly to change EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of my life for the absolute better... and have stayed on this path.. for better and for worse... for THREE YEARS... that's huge! Especially considering that I don't have a history of committing to anything that is this hard. My life is far from perfect...and I'm in a pretty rocky part of it at the moment...but three years ago... a rough patch like this would have sent me on a downward spiral that I don't know I could have recovered from. It's all because of dancing and the wonderful professionals that I get to dance with.
So, wish me luck, come and see and celebrate! I look forward to seeing you there!
Straight from Bonnie's Belle Gowns Headquarters' I bring you the latest and greatest in plus size ballroom gowns. If you have been to their website... you may have seen these dresses however, to appreciate the dresses they needed to be modeled by a real person. So I was all too quick to volunteer to jump in these creations to try do them some justice! So I present to you...me...in the new Double XL line!
Green/Blue Rhythm Dress or as I affectionately call it "My Cha Cha Dress", it's bright, fun and flirty and the streamer detail down the front is going to really play up the movement of the dance! Not to mention COMFORTABLE!!! (Those wrist bands now mean I have to figure out arm styling in a big way!)
Red Sparkle Rhythm Dress - I love this one too! Equally as comfortable as the green, this dress has a decidedly more sexy feel too it. (Which I love) Someday I'll wear it maybe for a saucy Rumba :-)
Multi-Color Fantasie Smooth Dress - The material alone on this gown almost makes you feel like you could float across the floor without your partner!
Sparkly Silver and Black Smooth Dress - Brings a feeling of complete elegance, this dress was created for the dancer of a more petite stature than myself, anyone that wears this on the floor is one lucky lady! LOVE the details on the bust line and back!!!
As a side note... I can't tell you how long I stared at these pictures! This is not the girl I see in the Mirror! (In a good way) A very special thanks to Bonnie and Michael for letting me flex my modeling muscles a little!
