After several weeks of trials tribulations... a little arguing... a little of my personal life butting in... and all that... We are now... finally at the week of performance! This Friday at some point between 9-9:30 PM CST please think good thoughts for me if you can't be there!
We've made changes, most of which were done to "dumb it down" for me... seriously! There were two spots in particular... I thought I could have done it.. but no...just TOO fast! RT has also suggested some changes that would make me more comfortable... and I decided not to do those changes... no point in having a routine if at least part of it isn't going to scare you right?
As of this moment I'm feeling pretty good about the performance, but I have to tell you it goes back and forth... has been for a few weeks now. Actually the last few weeks have been pretty dark with confidence and body image... something I'm constantly battling, sometimes publicly...and sometimes it gets too dark for even ME to share with others. But I look forward to the rest of the week feeling like today... reasonably optimistic, with a non-stop soundtrack of my chosen song and a few segments of my routine being drilled over and over. None of which will actually be discussed here as I don't want anyone in attendance to do anything but take my performance as a whole, and not inspect it for what I see as flaws. Trust me... I'm sure I'll have a blow by blow with video for you all afterwards.
Some pre performance preparation that doesn't actually pertain to the dance steps is going on too... I've freshened up my red hair with my new favorite more copper like tone. I've started the self tanner and actual tanning although the sun hasn't been out much here in Chicago...so I'm getting what I can...shoulders got a bit burned today! (YAY no Garbage bags for my back this time!) I have the daily reminder of how high maintenance it is to perform... I enjoy the whole preparedness of tanning, doing my nails, hair, makeup, sparkly jewelry, fun smelly lotions and all that... but at my core I'm really pretty down to earth and enjoy not having ALL of that as my daily routine.
More importantly almost is that I'm celebrating three years of dancing at the same time... I'm celebrating the third anniversary of the day I made steps unwittingly to change EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of my life for the absolute better... and have stayed on this path.. for better and for worse... for THREE YEARS... that's huge! Especially considering that I don't have a history of committing to anything that is this hard. My life is far from perfect...and I'm in a pretty rocky part of it at the moment...but three years ago... a rough patch like this would have sent me on a downward spiral that I don't know I could have recovered from. It's all because of dancing and the wonderful professionals that I get to dance with.
So, wish me luck, come and see and celebrate!
I look forward to seeing you there!