I mean really… What's really important??
As I prepare to engage my full life and full schedule again. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Now that I have less free time, (not that I was ever super productive when I did have free time), what is really important to me and what I want to do?
Then… I saw this mini documentary in TLC last week. It was following one of the former winners of NBC's "The Biggest Loser" this gentleman was one of the people that lost the most amount of weight on the show. They were doing a "where is he now?" kind of follow up. This hit home for me… first because I auditioned for this show when I started dancing, and didn't make it… and second because he had regained ¾ of the weight back once the cameras were turned off. His reasoning was that once all the attention was off of him, he felt a little abandoned and stopped caring as much. Also, that while what he did on the show was amazing… that it didn't really teach him how to live daily life.
In my days of unemployment, I could have really chosen to kick up the workouts and kept up with the weight loss, let's face it… the last year and a half or so, I slid… I myself at one point had put back on 40 pounds of what I had lost…then dropped 20, then put back on 10… I think… I didn't pay that close attention… my family did though… every so often I'd get comments "Well you know you've put a lot of weight back on." Or whatever… That made me angry… but I was too busy being depressed. I couldn't see my way back to the path of good, healthy living. Could the reasons behind it be because I didn't have all that attention I was receiving from anyone and everyone in my dancing life to propel me forward? Was it possible that I was relying too much on outside influences to keep me on the path of a healthy life? ABSOLUTELY!
Well… my mind finally whittled all of that down into one simple question… What is really important? The other catalyst in all of this is that at my new job, where I'm meeting all these new people, who don't know me, my past, what I write, they vaguely know that I even dance. They have made comments about me being unique, and unusual, and things you don't normally hear from co-workers that hardly know me or my work ethic. THEY have noticed in two short weeks, some of the things I pride myself on… reminded me that I am the person I set out to be every day.
So now that I am working on building my life back up to what it should be, what it was two years ago, only better… I am continually asking myself "What is really important, no, REALLY important?… Am I willing to work to get and keep what is really important?"
The answer to the first is that it is REALLY important that I be proud of myself and my performance in everything I do. Whether I'm setting out to train a new client on software, write a blog post, dance a rumba, commit to my 10,000 dance steps a day program, go out with the dance gang after a party. I must enter and exit each one of those situations being proud of myself, and being proud of the way I handle whatever situations come up.
Ok...so now you ask what does it take for me to be proud of myself? Because, I did NOT come away from my unemployment experience being full of pride with the way I handled it. In fact… if I were to grade myself on it… I'd give myself a "D." So, for me to be proud of myself now… I have to put in the effort; I have to be honest with everybody, including myself. (That last bit is going to be tough… I'm exceptionally good at pulling the wool over my own eyes) Yeah, it can be said as easily as that… however to actually do it… now that's going to be the challenge.
I am still on the same mission I set out when I started this blog, well before I started this blog actually… I will be on it for the rest of my life, and right now… it's time that I start participating in my adventure as much as I THINK about participating in my own adventure. I am a very passionate person, and I've somehow limited myself to only expressing that passion in certain areas of my life… well that's gotta change. So to answer the second part of the question... YES I am absolutely ready to put the work in and make this life everything I want it to be. I had it at one point in the not so distant past, it's time I regain it.. and keep it... for good. :-)
10,000 Dance Steps a Day Update:
For those of you on the 10,000 Dance Steps a Day program with me, I'm averaging 5,000 steps a day right now with some effort… I'm still working out my new schedule and waiting for my paychecks to start up so I can do things like put enough gas in my car to get to the dance studio, and gym again. This is not a setback, it's a mere rescheduling. Not everything can go exactly as planned… and I'm not giving up… so don't you do it either.
