Dancing with the Stars? Try Dancing LIKE the Stars!

Can you feel the excitement? The energy in the air that is just a buzz with the announcement of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars Season 5 Cast… I’ve always been a fan of the show, but used to think yeah if I had 5-7 hours a day to devote to practice with a pro I could do that too… A rather negative thought I know…but when I started my lessons Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) was the furthest thing from my mind. Unlike so many others, I was not inspired by the show to start dancing. Cut to two or maybe three months into lessons when DWTS Season 3 aired.

Season 3 was special because it was the first season I could kind of relate to the dancing, and one of the managers from the studio I dance at, Jesse DeSoto, was one of the professionals. It was very exciting! The dancing on the show still felt very much over my head but I wasn’t nearly as negative because I at least had some better understanding on the concepts of the dances. Season 3 came to a close (rather uneventfully because Jesse and his celebrity partner had been voted off pretty early), and lessons continued. I know my limitations and dancing like they do on DWTS was NEVER a goal, but by the time Season 4 aired my skills had improved somewhat and the MOST AMAZING thing happened when I saw that season premier.

I remember it so clearly…. Ian Ziering was doing the Cha Cha with his pro Cheryl Burke and there was one point in the dance where not only did I recognize the steps, but I knew how to do them! I started jumping around my apartment “I can do that!” Followed by actually doing the steps in my makeshift practice area. It was a fantastic feeling… turns out I felt that way about a couple of the dances on that opening show! All of which gave the show greater depth of meaning for me as a viewer... So, you DON’T need hours and hours a day to be able dance like a star, it takes a little time, and a little practice. It can be done! I’m very excited to see how many weeks into Season 5 we get before the dancing is once again over my own personal level. No matter what I have good feelings about this new cast… Good Luck to all on Season 5!

Dancing with the Stars Season 5:

Jane Seymour & Tony Dovolani
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Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
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Sabrina Bryan & Mark Ballas
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Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough
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Mark Cuban & Kym Johnson
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Jennie Garth & Derek Hough
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Josie Maran & Alec Mazo
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Cameron Mathison & Edyta Sliwinska
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Floyd Mayweather Jr. & Karina Smirnoff
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Wayne Newton & Cheryl Burke
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Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts
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Albert Reed & Anna Trebunskaya

The Story of My Life... After Ballroom

Ok the title is really a misnomer… for me there will be no “After Ballroom” it’s permanent. It’s been the inspiration for every improvement I’ve made over the last 14 months and 92lbs lost. (I don’t have a recent pic, when I have one I’ll post it)

If you read the post below, you’ll learn about the dismal condition of my life before I began taking dance lessons. Now, I’d like to share with you a few of the changes that I’ve made since I decided it was time to turn my life around.

It all started with simply moving to the music. At the very begining it was tough to make it through a whole lesson without a lot of breaks for water, but it wasn't long before I was wishing for a longer lesson. Before dancing, I hadn’t listened to music outside my car in AGES. After I started taking lessons, I started listening to music at home while cleaning, and then I would inevitably cease cleaning and begin practicing steps. I can’t tell you how many days my dishes have sat undone because I ended up using the counter to practice my swivels and completely forgot they were there. There’s also the system I have for drying my kitchen floor that involves practicing my Cuban walk, and the vacuum makes and excellent dance partner. So the first positive change I made without even realizing it was bringing music back into my life. I still enjoy the odd time when I get a new piece of music and I can just sit down or lay back and listen… to hear it for all it’s intricacies… but again I haven’t made it through a whole song in a long time before I’m picking out rhythms and beats to go with a particular dance.

Not long after I started dancing around my apartment instead of sitting on the couch, I started to use the workout machine I had purchased over a year before my first lesson, which had been collecting all my dirty laundry. It is LOW impact and with my music on I started with 20 minute sessions nearly every day. That slowly increased to two 30 minute sessions a day morning and evening. Lately I don’t use it as much as I have more complex steps to practice, and have taken to walking briskly at lunch, but when I do I work for 40 minutes without batting an eye. I am now an official “endorphin” junkie…If I don’t get at least one cardio workout in of some type I can be a real crab.

The biggest change I have made is with food. I was an emotional eater, if I was happy, sad, depressed or not feeling much of anything I was eating. I’d eat anything that was fast, quick to heat, easy to pick up after or quick to buy… (The fast food industry and I were good friends.) I honestly started craving “real” food. Fruits and vegetables were a quick easy way to keep the hungries away and the calories down. If I was happy I would bop around my apartment, if I was sad I’d write in a journal, If I was indifferent I’d work out and feel almost instantly better, and if I’m depressed a quick Bachata or Cumbia step can pull me right out of it. Once I identified what was causing me to consume unnecessary calories I created a list of rules for myself as a guideline it goes as follows:

1) I will not eat “fake” food – if I want dairy it’s real, not light or fat free.

2) If I have a craving I will satisfy it – If I want ice cream… I have a serving, not a pint.

3) If I am hungry I will eat – If it’s mid afternoon and I’m starving I will make the best choice I can with the options I have available.

4) I will not eat fast food – this one took a while to adjust to, but now I don’t even crave French fries anymore.

5) I will minimize the amount of simple carbohydrates- it took some work but now all my carbs are complex with the exception of the occasional craving (see 2) and the two sugars I put in my coffee in the morning.

6) I will keep my protein lean – which means mostly chicken breasts and fish.

7) I WILL NOT PUNISH MYSELF IF I BREAK A RULE- Oh this one is tough, I still have trouble not being hard on myself. I am the only one I’m accountable to and I am by far my toughest critic, but it’s definitely improved.

That’s it… I’d say it’s as simple as that…but nothing is ever quite as simple as it reads. I was inspired by learning to dance to make all these changes and every week I go in for my lesson I’m inspired to keep it up. The inspiration makes it easier than I ever thought it would be, but I still have tough days, the key is to take every day as it comes, and if you’re me…count the hours until you get to dance again.

The Story of My Life... Before Ballroom

Keep the comments & e-mails coming my dear readers! A couple of people have approached me at the studio, and sent a few e-mails asking for more information on what my life was like before I started dance lessons, and more details on how life has changed. So, without further ado… I give you a brief description of life before Ballroom... (Complete with my "before" picture)

Daily life for about 6 months before I walked thru that studio door was the picture of unhealthy living. I would lose my breath walking from my car to my desk where I sat on my butt all day to answer phones. The only movement I got was walking to the cafeteria for a high calorie lunch, then back on the phones for the rest of the day. Shift over, I would run out of breath again walking to my car to drive home. When I got back to my apartment, positively exhausted after climbing the one flight of stairs, I would plant myself in front of the TV again with a microwave dinner and stay there until bedtime.

While at home I would pretty much stay in front of the TV…vicariously living my life through the programs I watched…with breaks only to clean up or do laundry. As all singles know...cooking for one is really tough, so I microwaved EVERYTHING. Social activities included hanging out with friends at the local pub or watching a movie from my buddy’s couch. (I didn’t like going to movie theatres because I no longer fit comfortably in the seats.) All more sedentary calorie laden activities that helped me balloon to 340lbs, yeah that’s right I said it… I’ll say it again… Three hundred and forty pounds. Oh, and we can’t forget the pack of cigarettes I would smoke in a day. So you can understand why I say I was in the worst shape of my life on the day I met my instructor.

Here’s the MOST IMPORTANT THING TO KNOW… I didn’t think I was in that place in my life when I began to dance, It wasn’t until learning to take small steps at the studio that I realized where I had gotten myself and that I needed to make changes. Here I was, in my 20’s, single, intelligent, and settled on laziness. I had such heavy blinders on that it took someone I hardly know from my office to basically give me no polite option out of a few dance lessons to get me into that studio. Followed by an absolutely kind hearted professional instructor to get me to understand that there is a better way…

Keep reading…next post is about what life is like on a daily basis NOW that Ballroom has become a permanent fixture in my life. Including details on non-dance related changes that I’ve made to live a better life.

Please Allow me to Reflect...on my Reflection

I don't own a full length mirror… I've never owned one… I've never liked the way I have appeared in one. Dance studio’s have mirrors…lots of them… So when dancing, if my instructor and I are facing the mirror I generally keep my head up, but my eyes down (huge no-no in the ballroom world, but when your own reflection makes you so sad you want to run off the floor...it's easier to get a lecture for not looking up). All of this means I never REALLY know what I look like… all the mirrors in my apartment are waist up, so I focus on my hair, makeup, top, jewelry etc and rely on a mental picture of my self for what my entire ensemble may look like…. until Wednesday when I finally decided to look up…

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I was at my lesson, it was a great lesson too, refreshed on a lot of basics in Rumba, and worked on adjustments for West Coast Swing (which is fast becoming one of my favorite dances). As my instructor and I are groov'n thru the "Shagin'" step in West Coast, I decide that rather than send my eyes to the floor when we face the mirror, as had always been done, I was going to look into the mirror. Hey why not? I was having a good hair day anyway… and the last time I looked I was 91lbs heavier... So we “sailor shuffle” our way to an open kick that faces the mirror and I made the conscious effort to look at myself directly for that beat before returning to triple step facing my instructor… let me tell you had I been any more shocked by what I saw I would have completely frozen right there mid step…

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When I looked in the mirror for that brief moment before returning to face my instructor…I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE MYSELF!… It was me there, but it wasn't, suddenly my thoughts sped through what I’m seeing rather than what I’m doing… I look taller than I remember… and yes I'm aware of how odd that sounds…but keep in mind that for at least the last 4 years I have relied on a mental picture of what I look like head to toe… This is crazy! I have a shape and it isn’t all "fluffy." My face is different, my eyes appear larger than they used to be, my extra chin all but gone…is that the beginning of a jaw line I see? Things I never noticed in the mirror at home were all too apparent in the studio mirror… We did the step again…and again I looked up at myself…still surprised by the woman looking back… Turns out I was running around with a rather inaccurate picture of myself and how I was appearing to the world. Due to my overwhelming reaction, and not wanting my instructor to know about the internal SHOCK I was having over a few seconds in the mirror I went back to averting my eyes from the mirror for the rest of the lesson… I have no idea what I'll do next time I'm confronted with a mirror at the dance studio... but I can tell you that outfit choice just became a priority on days I have lessons :)

Relationships in Dance... Have You Met Your Floor?

When you dance, you develop relationships with several different things. For Ballroom/Latin clearly the relationship with your partner is important. There’s also the relationship with the music and the dance itself. Then there is another relationship… one that I’m not entirely comfortable with because to me it’s a little unusual. It’s the relationship between me and the floor.

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Yep, that’s right…the floor and I have to develop a relationship, although I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a little one sided. My instructor was explaining this to me one day, about how the way I work with the floor is important and that there is a relationship that exists there. He asked me “Who’s your favorite dancer?”

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“Are you serious? Tony Dovolani of course.” I replied.

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“Ok, then your floor is Tony, and pretend you’re giving him a massage with your feet when you dance.”

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Yes he was serious, and I was in hysterics… I can make the leap to having a relationship with the floor…but to name it Tony and pretend I’m massaging his back with my dancing?? My first thought was “Couldn’t we go for drinks first?” I wanted to sit on the floor and introduce myself to it… if we’re supposed to have this relationship and all we should at least be on a first name basis.

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Tony the Floor and I have been working together for a while, sometimes I forget he’s there…I mean it’s not like he calls or anything so it’s tough to remember that we have this ongoing relationship, but when it’s good…it’s good, and I’m really glad we’re involved. So, have you met your floor?? Next time you’re in the studio sit down and introduce yourself…it’s only polite after all…you’re going to spend the majority of your relationship walking all over him/her.

Guest Lesson Brings Validation...

Tonight I brought a co-worker into the studio for a guest lesson. She had decided after months and months of listening to me rave about dancing and watching me drop my 89lbs, to do me the honor of taking that first step herself.

During her lesson her instructor drew my attention to her learning agility on the floor, I was so proud! She had a huge smile on her face, and her eyes were dancing as happily as her feet. When both our lessons were over she approached me and said the most perfect thing anyone could have said about their first experience…

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“I totally see how you lost the weight without thinking about it, that was SO much fun!”

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And that dear reader is what it’s all about for me, having fun, gaining confidence, learning to dance, and getting in shape. There are a million reasons why new students walk through that studio door, and a million more why they stay, but for me… seeing my co-worker taking so much joy from a single lesson that she signed up for more, and saying that one statement that absolutely validated one of the key reasons I dance made nearly everything worth it.

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There you have the first bit of irrefutable, totally unsolicited evidence that anyone can try it, and absolutely enjoy it... all it takes is that first step.

Rag doll Dancing...

"Rag doll dancing" is a term I invented to use when everything is just right between my dance partner and I so that we are just whipping around the floor. If a great dance has just ended you may hear me comment "Wow, he just flipped me around like a rag doll!" In a lot of the faster paced dances like Hustle, East/West Coast Swing, and Salsa there is a lot of leverage that can be created between your partner and yourself that should be used to both dancers advantage. I have to tell you, I'm a HUGE fan of leverage! It's easier to spin, and keep time, and when it's REALLY good...There is nothing but you, your partner, and the music that matter in the world during that dance. Honestly you haven't lived until you've done a Hustle that really felt more like a roller coaster than a dance, and a million times more fun!

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Here's another great thing about "Rag doll dancing"... the workout! Forget the fancy weight machine that's only going to become a depository for your dirty laundry. I don't even think about muscle toning during my at home cardio routine and yet, I've gotten SO much stronger from my shoulders to my ankles all from working with my instructor to get the leverage just right. This part of dancing isn't going to make me totally buff, but it's definitely set the foundation that I could. I’ll pass on becoming the next big thing in body building, I’m just happy if you come in and ask me to dance.

The "Light Bulb Moment"...

As I’ve been losing weight, a lot of people have asked me what the turning point was. When did I know that this whole ballroom thing was going to be the key to weight loss? Those that know me well know I’ve been entrenched in the battle of the bulge since I was 9 years old. So, what is it about now that has made it happen? Why now after trying nearly every diet and gym was this "it"? Well I remember the moment well, and this story has never really been told... It's THE big "light bulb moment" as Oprah would say...


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What most people don’t know is that way back while I was still trying to figure out what ballroom was all about, I auditioned for “The Biggest Loser.” I stood and waited for five or six hours with other hopefuls outside the Rock Bottom Grill (I just love that they had people, not in the best place in their lives, show up to “Rock Bottom”). As you may know, anytime you audition for anything you have to psych yourself up, well after hours of talking myself into really wanting to make it on the show, and change my life forever, I also started to think “If I don’t get this, I can continue dancing.” My audition was sunk the moment that thought crossed my mind.

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As I was interviewed "I can continue dancing" kept running little laps around my mind, and I appeared to be less than enthusiastic about being on this TV show. When it was done the TV show producer handling interviews told me “You’re not what we’re looking for, you’re too thin.” I was instantly shocked and dismayed... How could I not be what they were looking for?? What was it, was I too big a loser, or not big enough? Thin… was she kidding? I was tipping the scale at a number that might make a small horse blush! Suddenly, on the way home from what could have been really devastating, my light bulb moment struck.

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I was listening to the radio and I don't remember the song, but I do remember thinking that it could make a really fun Cha-Cha... That was it, that tiny moment when I turned an event that would have ordinarily sent me running for the nearest pint of Ben & Jerry’s into a mental debate over my fledgling dance steps that made (and makes) this all work. It hasn’t been perfect, but now, nine times out of ten I’m thinking of dance during times of stress instead of ice-cream. At work, if I’m having a bad day I no longer run for the vending machine, instead I entertain my co-workers with a lively Bachata. At home I step outside with my music player and work out a Swing or Salsa. Nothing has ever been able to take my mind of the rotten things that can happen like ballroom.

Dancing for my Life....

Hi there! Welcome to "Ballroom Dancing: Changing My Life One Step at a Time" come in sit a spell and allow me to tell you about something that is world famous, (thanks "Dancing with the Stars") and yet, something you too can be a part of. Ballroom/Latin Dancing is one of the greatest things I have ever done. I've changed my perspective, lost weight, and found what it means to be truly happy in life....

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I know, it’s funny, it's cheezy, please continue to laugh, keep the smile when you’re done and allow me to tell you my story:

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June 21^st 2006 I walked through the dance studio door with nothing more than five lessons that were an unexplained gift from a co-worker, and a HUGE fear over what was about to happen. As I waited for some random instructor to come forward and find me for my lesson, the fear just grew; there was a whirlwind of activity around me…people introducing themselves, really good dancers on the floor, music going strong…. All I could think was that I had to make it through the five lessons and I didn’t have to come back… ever. No one wanted to see a girl in the worst shape of her life and aprox 160lbs overweight shake her grove thing in any way….this girl herself didn’t want to shake her groove thing for anyone to see either!

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Well that was about 70 or so lessons ago. Somewhere in there between learning the difference between a Rumba and a Waltz I realized I had found the key to unlock the cage of 160lbs I had surrounded myself with, I learned that while people may not want to see this girl attempt to dance, I was going to do it anyway because I loved it. I made a vow with myself that I was going to try and get as good as I could possibly get at this dance thing, and the one way to truly help myself do that was to continue the weight loss that was beginning to happen just because of my lessons. So far I’ve dropped aprox 80lbs, completely changed my relationship with food, and exercise….I’ve even quit smoking…twice...

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I’m just about half way to my goal as far as the numbers on the scale go, and one thing is certain…no matter what the future brings…I’m not going to stop dancing. Ballroom dance has been the inspiration for every change I’ve made in my life over the last year, and I’m convinced that ballroom is the reason those changes have stuck.

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If you, dear reader, take nothing else away from this blog, take this… there is NO REASON why you can't dance. (Trust me, if I can handle it, you can give it a try) Ladies, you'll feel like a star, and gents, no gal that can resist a guy that's willing to try dancing. You don’t have to commit to 5 lessons like I did, every studio has a “guest lesson” go on… give it a go. I have some links on the right to help you find a wonderful studio in your area. Too many people avoid things that can help them, or make their lives better. Don’t do that to yourself.

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I will continue to bring you all the trials and tribulations of trying to keep my East and West Coast Swing straight from my Salsa, from my Fox Trot and let you know how the numbers on the scale look. I’ll get pictures of lessons, and you can laugh along with me (or even at me) when I just can’t get an arm right, or do anything that involves turning to the left.

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If you have questions, if you have an opinion, if there is something here you want me to elaborate on… let me know... post a comment, send me an e-mail.