Monday, August 11, 2008

I Want IT!!!

No... not the kind of "I want it!!!" temper tantrum that a three year old child would have. Now that I'm back to dancing I had a bit of an epiphany in the Social Latin Class last Monday... As I was working my way through Bachata... I suddenly remembered to engage my core muscles... something I have a habit of not doing...(and the reason I haven't lost as many inches around my middle as I could have). As I was realizing how by simply engaging the muscles around my core made the dance so much MORE. The voice in my head said I WANT IT.

(Here's where I let ya'll into my head officially... where...yes... I have conversations, debates and arguments with myself...please just follow along with my thoughts)

What do you mean "IT"?
IT....I want it... all of IT!

All of what?
You know what IT is, stop lying to yourself!
what I think of when I say I WANT IT is that I want it all. I want to become better than average, I want to actually engage every muscle in EVERY movement, I want to not let dancing become commonplace and routine, I want to be the best that is humanly possible for me to be at EVERYTHING I do dancing or otherwise. - How's that??
Yep that's IT... I WANT IT!
Ok... lets see what I can do about that...

All of this while trying to maintain the "side together side...hip!" of Bachata...and feeling that great muscle engaging feeling... I don't know... does anyone else debate with themselves like this? Sometimes the debates will rage on so hard I actually think I've had a conversation with another person... ANYWAY... (Oh, come on... you all know I'm crazy anyway...stop acting surprised) the phrase I want it! has been running it's way through my brain at least a few times a day and it catches me from being lazy, taking the easy way out...

Here's the thing... What I realized was that I needed to be forced to take a break from dancing. It WAS becoming routine and commonplace. The moment I got my core engaged and started working that simple Bachata basic, the full realization of what I was missing, what I had taken advantage of, what I NEEDED came rushing back and struck with a ferocity I haven't felt in a long time. The switch flipped... and my whole body screamed "Yep this is IT!!!"

I want IT

Is a perfect mantra for me, because there are SO many things that can fit into the "IT." I'm not talking going to my favorite clothing store, looking at an item I can't possibly afford and saying "I want IT" and then buying it. No, no, no! "IT" is intangible in most cases... it's an iprovement of skills, of lifestyle, of persona... I write about, love, and live as much dancing as I can...but that's not all I'm about....

IT is that I will write that novel...(or novels).
IT is that I will to learn how to better manage my time.
IT is that I will take advantage of every situation to improve my knowledge base.
IT is that I will become a better friend.
IT is that I will be someone the younger generations can look up to.
IT is all that and so much more...

This is going to be hard... let the internal battle begin! I can see it already... but hey... I WANT IT... so keep an eye out while I go and make strides to get IT... we'll start with improving the way I use my body with dance... that seems like the happiest and hardest place to start... I'll fight it the whole way I know it... but I want all those ITs and more pretty bad... I'm not about to be denied.

"The Internal Battle"

No comments: