Well, I'm slowly, painfully (not physically) working my way back to dancing the way I want to. Last week I attended the Social Latin class on Monday, and the Studio Party on Friday. Both went really well. The ankle is still swelling, but it's returning to it's normal size after some icing and some sleep. I'm really pleased with that. This week I attended the Social Latin class again, I also plan on the new Technique class (mentioned below) a private lesson (my first in five weeks) and hopefully some weekend dancing. I'm very excited to see what this will all do to my ankle... one thing is for certain, I HAVE to come back!
The last 5 weeks have been hard, while yes I have danced a bit and loved every second of it... I haven't been able to do ANYTHING else to work out or promote my healthy lifestyle... the ankle is still healing after all and I don't want to re-injure it. All this means is that all the little stupid internal battles over a healthy lifestyle and fighting my inner laziness has been going full blast. My life resembles much more of my pre-dance characteristics than I imagined it ever would, and to be quite honest it's put my mental state at risk. I know that sounds drastic... but with the exception of the dancing events I've been able to do... I'm positively miserable! I've fallen behind in SO many of my good habits. Eating? Forget about it... I have no energy... the scale has moved in such a terrible fashion.... I just stopped getting on it... Talk about upsetting. I simply can't wait to get back on the dance floor in a regular pattern again! I need it!
I've run into a few other problems too.... Those in my non-dancing life are not super supportive of my returning do dance while my ankle is still swelling... but they simply don't understand.
To the outside it appears my life is off kilter...that I rely way too much on dancing and it takes up too much in my life. Some have even said that I should stop all together so that I can re-balance my life to what it "should" be. I can't be angry with them, well I can and I am...but I know where they are coming from and how it all appears to the non-dancer.
<--- How others think my life is balanced.
Here's what they don't understand....
Dancing doesn't put my life off balance... Dancing is in fact what allows me to balance everything! No matter how stressed, or tired, or frustrated I am with life... being on the dance floor with ANY dance partner allows me to have a few moments away from the stress, and feel good about myself... and it makes me want to be better. How are those bad things? Everyone that knows me always seems to forget... I'm not your average person... I naturally do things a little differently than everyone else... if there really isn't a negative to my dancing... but seems to be several just plain bad things that come up when I'm not dancing... then clearly the answer for me is to get my butt back on the dance floor!
Yes, you could argue that if I got working out and got the endorphins going I'd be happy again... However, if you know my story... you know I'm genetically predisposed to HATE working out. The only reason I was working out between lessons was so I could be better at dancing through losing weight... if I'm not dancing...then I have absolutely no motivation to work out... I've tried to talk myself into working out regularly a million times since I've been out and I can get the odd work out in out of guilt, but I can't get a pattern going without my dancing!
Ballroom and Latin dancing is the FOUNDATION of what allows me to balance my life and be happy. ----->