Life is hard... that's all... life in general is just hard. Oh am I glad last week is over and I'm about to embark on a new week. Sometimes I get tired of fighting. I get really tired of fighting... I have to fight to keep my weight in check, I have to fight to stay ahead of the curve at work, I have to fight to keep my dancing up to par. But that's ok *deep breath* Monday starts a new round of life. Last week everything slipped... My desire to try just slipped.
Last week's lesson was with Largo... we had just come off some fun competition weekends. Where I was so proud to watch my favorite pros compete. I should have been in a great dancing mood... Unfortunately as much as I want to keep dancing separate from other aspects of my life... Other aspects of my life keep overwhelming me and creeping in. I was just feeling off.
We started with Hustle and my following was rough... not a good sign. We then worked on some Rumba, learning a new step. It took me SO LONG to even remember it! We drilled and drilled... then I couldn't get my hips into it. Largo didn't say anything about it, he was more focused on getting me to remember the step...but I was kicking myself on the inside for not getting anything. After I did show that I had remembered it... we moved on.
Cha Cha... seems to be that Largo has tasked himself with teaching me the new to me cha cha steps. I've learned a lot over the last few lessons in Cha... There is one step that I'm really messing up on consistently. It has a flick on the 3 followed by a really fast pivot then I land and step back. I can't seem to maintain control of this spin! We drilled and drilled... I was frustrated, Largo was getting frustrated too. Neither of us could figure out why I wasn't sticking this move.
At one point he just sighed and asked "Why can't you do this?"
"I don't know *sigh*...lets just try it again." I responded.
Largo has been dancing since he was a small boy and probably doesn't remember what it's like to not stick a spin or not pick up on choreography. Well if this lesson wasn't a reminder I don't know what is!! I don't know... maybe he thinks I'm better than I am... I know I can follow Largo better then when we started, but I still don't feel a whole lot of connection with him... that's something that will have to develop over time... I mean it took me a long time before I was comfortable enough with RT to do some of this stuff... and I think I'm probably looking for that with Largo before it's time.
In the end we settled on a pretty rough finish, but I did manage to get it on time. Who knows if I'll stick it again. I'll have to try it again this week.
I did manage to make it to all the available to my schedule group classes. So at least that's remaining consistent. I'm just dancing through a dark place right now... but dancing keeps me strong... Just have to remember that.