Dancing....Need More Dancing

I do... you do too. Music too while we're at it thank you.

Monday was pretty ok as far as days go, I got all my daily goals accomplished and then a few more. So that was good, I was still very tired from the weekend so I had to head to bed early.

Tuesday was all about focusing on having my dance lesson. I made it through work, and got up to the studio as fast as I could! Unfortunately my current favorite jazz shoes had been left behind. My dance shoes usually live in the car so I never forget them no matter where I'm going. These shoes had been brought up from the rest of my weekend attire and never made it back into the car. Thankfully my car also contains several other pairs of other shoes, none are quite perfect, and I thought about putting on my rhythm shoes, but I could feel my ankles starting to swell from the idea so I picked from my current selection of Jazz shoes and made do.

The lesson opened and I warned Rocky about my shoes.

"I forgot my usual pair, so I'm in some back ups.. they're a little slick so I may slide into you at some point.. fair warning."

"It's ok..." He responds and we head over to the music machine so Rocky can pick up some Salsa.

Actually the slick shoes worked in my favor for a bit, and Rocky had tried some different moves from last week. At one point I got the age old "Just follow me." VERY reminiscent of a previous instructor, and just as frustrating. Instead of responding the way I always used to I kept quiet and focused more on following. It was actually really fun! I think at one point towards the end we switched to On2 Mambo, but I'm not sure... it felt that way though. Then we were in frame dancing and I think we both heard the Cha Cha song that was playing. Without skipping much of a beat we switched to Cha Cha. Neat!

It wasn't long before I managed to lose the beat so we stopped for a second to pick up my book. We're still working on the first parts of the syllabus, which has been a great refresher for me. Although I keep wondering if I'm getting all the technical points, sometimes I catch myself and sometimes I let it go. I'm hoping that my practice is helping me improve.

The highlight of the Cha Cha for me anyway, aside from the good following, is that I had a centrifugal force issue during one of my spins. Maybe it's happened to you before... I was lead into a spin, I don't recall if it was single or double and the force of going around actually makes my nose run. So I finish the move hand up to nose (Rocky and I are getting along so far, but I'm not up to dancing with him when there's snot on my face just yet) and I run over to take care of it. Once I returned (and used the antibacterial stuff) we joked about how that happens to a lot of dancers. Man.... a spin pulled snot right out of my nose... I must be getting better again! ;-)

We kept working, and it was good... I'm definitely keeping up more than I was a few weeks ago! Then we started doing a couple of lesser used steps and I followed. Rocky and I both were surprised a little. We worked on it again and I questioned "Are you testing my following?"

"No, testing my leading!" He replied mid cha.

"Oh, ok.. hope it's going well!"

Once we were finished with Cha Cha we glanced at my book, we discussed learning the last couple of steps in the Bronze Syllabus, I should have tested into Silver level several months back, but I still have to learn a few of the steps I'll be tested on. Once that was discussed, we decided to tackle the X some more.

The X is of course Waltz. I have to admit the more we work on it the more I'm not remembering why I ever hated it to begin with. I dare say my attitude about waltz has evolved. We worked on a new to me step mostly. I don't remember what it's called, and as I sit here I can't remember exactly how it goes, but it does have some backward lock steps for me in two directions. I don't recall ever having done this step before so I needed a lot of review, questions, and mistakes.

I hate staying on one step for too long, but I wanted to get this one! I also got very chatty for some reason. I think I was getting anxious and trying to divert attention away from not getting this step. Then I had a question...

"Ok so on the little tandem twirl thing we do here, I don't have to do heel leads for all that right? No, that would be stupid."

Rocky walked himself through the step as a follow, and then I watched when he got to the point where my question was...

"Oh, ok so it's heel, toe, toe..got it." Thanks!

"Yes it's heel toe toe.. I go through all this and she goes 'it's heel toe toe'!" He rolls his eyes.

"Well it is, so now you know if anyone ever asks how to do that again you can tell them it's heel toe toe so there." I respond taking up frame.

Away we went working on this silly sequence again.... I wasn't feeling very graceful. Which leads me to cause more distraction.

"Ok so when I'm doing this I feel like I'm going to step on your feet." Trying to explain why I kept stopping us at one point.

I got a look... I thought the look meant - what do you mean stepping on my feet, that's preposterous! So I rattled through a made up back and forth that I would normally have in my head only I said it all out loud.

"What do you mean step on my feet Kat, I'm a professional dancer this is what I do, it is my job to make sure my feet are out of the way of yours. (as me) Oh really? Ok I'll stop worrying about it then."

Rocky's head was spinning... "Whaaa?"

"Nothing never mind I was having a conversation with myself pretending you were answering, that stuff usually happens in my head, this time I just said it out loud."

"Ok wait, " He shakes his head, "...too fast!"

Sometimes I talk too fast, I am aware of this and I try and not but..esp when I'm just dialoging an inner monologue I don't see what speed matters.

So I repeated the mock conversation I had with myself about not worrying over tripping. We take up dance frame.. Rocky still a little overwhelmed.

"Are you ok?" He quietly asks me, he was serious..oh no!.

"Yep fine, well I'm about this far (finger and thumb pinched close together) from the men in the white jackets coming, but yeah I'm fine." I state with a big smile. "Ok I'll be quiet now."

"Banana." Rocky responds, dead pan.

"HAHAHA!" Is that our new code word for "shut up Kat?" too funny ok come on lets go."  

We start again and I trip up...

"Ok so you see what the problem here is, I'm supposed to feel graceful here and I feel like an elephant cold hopping across the floor again." Stated to fast for Rocky.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm supposed to feel all graceful and floaty on the floor and I don't I feel like I'm clumsy and it's just not right."

"Yes well it can feel like that, the goal is to make it LOOK smooth and graceful."

"It's supposed to feel that way? Blech. Ok lets go try it again." So we did..

I got it.

"Ooooo.. ok again." I state as if Rocky has no choice. I like to drill stuff and get it right a few more times before I call it learned.

We did it again and I messed up. *sigh*

We manage to check the clock simultaneously and in unison say "One more time." (I take little things like that as a sign that working with Rocky could continue to be good)

One more time, it was one of the better times through the step.... nice to end on a high note!

High five and some scheduling later I was on my way home.

Unfortunately I didn't stretch after this lesson.. .and boy oh boy was I feelin' it today! Baby steps baby steps... and I must stretch more. 

I need more dancing... as soon as I get settled into my home again I'm going to work out a plan for dancing in particular to be part of EVERY DAY.

Regional Comp Weekend, and Preparing for a Move...

Hi all!
This weekend was very hectic, but mostly fun which is nice. It was one of those weekends where you get to Monday and you think Good Lord, I need a weekend to recover from my weekend! First up was Saturday's Fred Astiare Regional Competition at the Crowne Plaza O'Hare. I was running so late! I didn't arrive until around 11:30am, the Pro/Am portion of the day had begun at 10. (Here's the thing about waking up late, as I get back into working out, that will be much harder to do as I will naturally have more energy!) I immediately found my gang and began the socializing and spectating for the day. I think the reason I love ballroom comps so much is that they remind me of Theatre back in Shakespeare's day (Shakespeare is a personal hero of mine, and an awesome writer). It's a place to see and be seen and cheer for what's being presented on the floor, which is exactly what Theatre was like back in the day.

This competition was much smaller than previous spring regional I had attended, not since I started back in 2006 had I seen a comp as small. I have more than a sneaking suspicion that it's because everyone that usually saves up for one or two competitions every year is waiting for the June Inter-Regional comp which promises to have more than the standard set of competitors we're used to seeing. Somehow competition isn't quite as fun when you're on the floor with everyone you know and have competed against before, or so I have been told by many competitors.

So I saw, and I was seen, and I laughed and joked and cheered my way to the end, with Jem, Savvy, and more. Once the day session ended, a group of friends and I headed over to a local restaurant to have a nice relaxing meal and watch college hoops on the big screen. The team we were rooting for won! It was a nail biter too, I suppose if I went to a college with a sports team I'd be into that full time, but instead I only get involved when it's put in front of me, and I have friends around me that are whole heartily invested.

Once over, the few of us that were going back for the evening show headed back to the hotel with plenty of time to change for the Disco themed evening. Dressing up for these themed events aren't nearly as fun when I don't have the wardrobe I once had to pull from. Every time a theme comes up I mentally sift through the closet I used to have to find what I would have worn. A futile process I assure you. I had worn a T-shirt for the day session that was very 70's themed, but the evenings require more than a t-shirt. So I settled on a sequined tank I had recently picked up, jeans, and a short sleeve cardigan. I touched up my make up and I was ready to go.

The evening event opened with a lot of general dancing, which is great!! It used to be that these events had alot of awards, speakers, hired professional shows, and a smattering of general dances in between. Not this time! This time we were treated to a lot of 70's era music that included a lot of Hustle, Cha Cha and Swing. They even managed to get a few waltz's in there as well. All the pros were decked out in what seemed like a cross between 60's flower child and 70's bad plaid most wearing the traditional Fro wigs. (Some of whom actually really made them work!). I had planted myself amungst Bonnie and Michael for the night, and I was pleased for the company. Shortly after the dancing started, and I decided it might be worth it to change into my jazz shoes, Rocky came by for a pretty fast East Coast swing. About two measures in I realized two things: 1- my shoes were getting way too much traction so I'd have to work harder to execute my steps, and 2- drinking while dancing (I had had beer with dinner and wine since I entered the show) only makes me very heavy in my feet so everything takes that much more of a supreme effort. I MAY just have to consider my competition drinking habits if this continues.

After Rocky, I was asked to dance by one of my Studio's newest pros, he is new to teaching but has a very solid International background. I've danced with him a few times before. The dance he chose me for was Waltz. I heard a very quick American Waltz, he heard a Viennese Waltz so we ended up doing kind of a combo of the two. It was a lot of fun despite the poor floor craft of all those around us. Fill a floor with amateur and that's pretty much what you get. I do find this new pro to be a pretty good lead, and he's very cute in the way he approaches things. I thanked him for the dance and then took my place next to Bonnie for a second.

A few awards were announced and due to the small size of this comp and the rather small turn out from my studio in particular (again, waiting for June!) Fred Astaire Mokena took top prize as did two of their pro's for top teachers. Congratulations Mokena, I know the competitive students and staff at Chicago North thrive on a challenge so let's see who gets top prize next time around!



General dancing resumed and none other than Himself -Jesse DeSoto tapped me on the shoulder for a Hustle. Jesse is one of those pros that can make his follow feel like they can dance with him effortlessly. His brother STP actually can do the same thing, when he wants to, and speaking of it wasn't but a minute after Jesse had lead me to the edge of the dance floor when STP picked me up to catch the very tail end of another song. This was turning into quite the red letter evening for me!

A beat after that and I sought out one of the more shy or reserved would be a better word, students for another Hustle. Not quite sure why he's so reserved, he's actually not a bad lead the couple of times I've danced with him. I figured I was having a good night so it was ok to go around asking for dances. I came back to the table where my stuff was stashed and sat a few dances out, all the while watching the gentleman next to me, who is normally so quiet, come completely out of his shell with the help of some liquid encouragement. That was more funny than anything. His behavior combined with his thematic dress reminded me of Steve Martin in the 70's stand up he used to do..."I'm a wild and cra-zy guy!"



Ah, Steve Martin in the 70's... funniest guy of the decade!

As I was bearing witness to the character next to me another fellow student asked me for a Cha Cha and off we went. Woo hoo! I think this is the most I've danced at a social event in a really long time!

Very shortly after my Cha Cha I took my seat and I saw STP passing by in his regular dance clothes, he was previously dressed ala John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. I stopped him, "You're not all Saturday Night Fever anymore?"

"No, I have to dance..." He replies as if talking to a child.

I immediately remember that not all the correct words came out in my question. Duh.. of course he had to dance he was wearing a Latin shirt... what I meant was "Why are you dressed like that if you have to do the region staff number in a few minutes?" But that of course isn't what came out. So I laughed to myself pretty much hysterically because I have a knack of always sounding like I've had one drink too many with STP something that started because I did say funny stuff to him once when I actually had consumed 2 or 3 drinks too many in 2008.... I'll never live it down. Ah well there are worse things.. at least I'm a happy fake boozer.

The show began with the afore mentioned Regional staff number. The first time the whole region's staff had gotten together to do a number. We actually got to see it twice! About 4 or so measures in, the music just stopped... there was a beat or two of silence and then the staff almost in unison just picked right up where they left off and performed the piece A Capella, which actually worked out really well. Once finished and applause with ovation ensued they began again with music the whole way through. It was very cute and I liked how quickly they recovered! What professionals! KIT and DWH had actually choreographed it.

The rest of the show was nice too, albeit had a very "Talent Show" quality to it. Different couples or studio staff formations took the floor. It was nice for me to see because I usually like to keep an eye on what's going on staff wise in the region, just a little habit I picked up from when I used to visit multiple studios for parties and such. This allowed me to see a good number of the new faces perform and see their style. There are a few new staff members out there that look like they'd be a lot of fun to dance with. Two of the newer male pros in particular just danced like they take really good care of their followers, and danced very well.

The show ended as most do when the region staff performs with the staff at my studio showing off their skills FAF and TSD with a super fast Tango, HFC and STP with a swing, and then the whole Staff put in an ensemble formation with KIT singing, the girl has a powerful set of pipes!

I closed the evening saying goodnight to everyone I could find, and chatted with HFC for a second and then made my exit.

The rest of the weekend was VERY busy. I had a lot of work to do for my personal and professional lives. Professionally we're gearing up for a new product release and personally I am moving back into my apartment on Friday! I can not WAIT to have a home again! What's striking me as amazing though is that it doesn't seem to matter how much or how little one owns... moving is ALWAYS a hassle.

Stepping Outside Myself to Help Others...

Hi All!

With everything that's been happening personally I feel that I have not payed due attention to the Global Community.

No doubt you all have heard about the Earthquake/Tsunami tragedy in Japan, and now Burma and Thailand.

This is just the latest in a string of man made and natural disasters that are pummeling the globe. In an effort to help those less fortunate than ourselves. I am donating all proceeds made at my online shop Ballroom Is Life to the American Red Cross to help with Global Disaster Relief.

So please, stop by shop a bit, and help those in need in the process! The world needs those that have, to help those that have nothing. I may be in a rough spot, but I'm surrounded and possess untold riches in comparison to those that have just suffered through these events.

Just Like That... It's a Million Times Better!

Whew... one major hurdle covered! Today I was able to finalize my move in date and ensure that I am in the hotel until my move in date.... so for the time being I can rest easy. Oh goodness do I feel a million times better! I was very tired today though, the not sleeping took it's toll for sure. However I had a lesson to get to tonight, and there was no way I was going to miss it. Dancing has proven time and again in the past to make me feel on top of the world even when I'm at my lowest. So it was imperative that I show up.

Sadly I was running late which puts me on edge, luckily the formation class preparing for this weekend's regional competition was finishing up their rehearsal on the main floor.... whew! Enough time to change shoes and not feel like my pro is waiting for me.

A very tan Rocky waved me over to the floor once it had cleared. He was tan as you'd expect for a dancer competing this coming weekend. There is a regional Fred Astaire competition this coming weekend. There was a hustle playing and other lessons on the floor starting with Hustle, so I figured ok I'll do Hustle...this time. ;-)

Shows me for anticipating, Rocky started a Salsa with a little "ah.. see? I remembered." nod of his head and grin. I responded of course with a big smile!
"So is your week better?" Rocky asks.
"Well if I was in here yesterday (under arm turn) I would have been a crying sniveling mess, (open break) but today is better!" I responded.
I went over the fast forward version of what this week was as we danced a little. Soon the warm up was over and Rocky resisted going to get my book... I wasn't going to fight him this time anyway.

"Ok so remind me of your dances again?" He inquired hand over brow thinking.
"Well it doesn't really matter I want to work on smooth this time." I respond.
"Ok so smooth dances..."
"I don't have any smooth dances as my majors so it doesn't matter, I want to work on smooth."

Rocky paused for a second and went over for my book again...probably to refresh his memory on what I may have learned in the past. I actually helped him look for it this time. Once aquired we set about looking at it... there is a big X over the Waltz section..

I point to it "See, this is wrong now, I think I could like Waltz, and I know it's going to make my ankles stronger... that X is 4 years old! A lot has changed."

"Ok..ok.. so then lets just see..." Rocky goes to take up frame... and off we went.

Holy smokes this kid has an awesome smooth frame and lead! If I didn't actually know how much a really do suck at smooth he almost makes it seem easy! Unreal! We danced around the floor for a bit mainly so he could figure out what I knew and probably to figure out how I follow. There were a few under arm turns and possibly twinkles that made me almost believe I was actually Waltzing! This was just too cool.

We stopped a few times to go over a couple of different sequences, and a few times he would just make a comment like "Oh, sure you don't know this." ... dripping with sarcasm.

"Well I've done it before, I didn't say I hadn't done the step before. I just never spent any real time on it in comparison to Rhythm."

Then there was the Chasse issue. There's a sequence in the syllabus that has a couple of chasse (step together, step together quickly basically). Well he wanted my feet together and I must have been passing so I made the comment that as soon as I get more advanced they'll change it to passing my feet anyway.

WRONG

In fact Rocky found this very amusing. I guess growing up a dancer it's very funny to think that a Chasse would be any different than what it is, at any level of dancing. Well I certainly won't make that mistake again! At least I was getting laughs. I'm fine with being wrong in cases such as these because I didn't grow up being a dancer. So kids.. listen up.. A Chasse.. will ALWAYS be a Chasse!

There was another directional change could be almost like a promenade and every time it's lead I think my lead is checking his watch... well first off Rocky doesn't wear a watch... but I mention it.

"Ok, that feels like you're checking your watch." I said it very calmly... I didn't also realize we were facing the studio clock at the time, and I believe poor Rocky thought I was accusing him of being a clock watcher.

"What?!? I'm not even wearing a watch on this hand!" he retorts.

I immediately realize what I just did and try to make amends "Oh no, no... that's not what I mean I'm just saying that when you do that it feels to me like you're trying to check your watch without breaking frame... I didn't mean to say you were watching the clock!" Whoops.

Well we picked right up where we left off after that little open mouth, insert foot moment. I can't believe how much fun I was having with Waltz! Not only that but I wanted to learn it! We'd work on a step and I'd keep wanting to drill it until

At one point we were rounding the floor and stopped in the corner and we were laughing about some Samba music that was being played.... I was just really happy to be laughing!

"Ok do you want to hear a joke?" Rocky asked, "It's ok if you don't laugh it's not that funny." He chuckles.

"Yeah ok I want to hear it!"

"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?" He asks through quiet chuckles.
I think, and I know it's going to be lame..but I can't think that I've ever heard that before "I have no idea, what?"
(and I write this knowing it's not going to translate well in just text)

"Ba-na-na-na!"Rocky chants just like the opening of Beethoven's Symphony No. 5.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" It's quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard! I couldn't stop laughing! Then Rocky started laughing because I was laughing... Oh I'm so telling that joke to everyone I know!

"Ok so the Chasse step..." Rocky says as we have to focus again...
"Yep ok, great go.."I stopped laughing and focused back on the dance across the floor.. only to tell the lesson that was going on at the other end, KIT and STP were not quite as amused.. I still think it's funny!

A little bit more Waltz and compliments going everywhere! Rocky at one point even liked my rise and fall!!! No one has ever complimented me on my rise and fall!!! I mean it's never been insulted before but Rocky seemed genuinely surprised and/or impressed in some of what it seemed I was capable of! YESSSS!

See the idea of impressing or surprising a seasoned professional dancer is like the greatest accomplishment I could ever do in this, my rebuilding and restarting. I hope to keep it up.

Last ten minutes or so I could sense a shift in the dance we were working on.
"Ok what are we working on now?" I ask.
"Tango. I can't believe you have never worked on it." Rocky states.

"Only for the first Mini Match year before last..." Which then prompted me to explain how I got involved in Mini Match and why I ended up doing it. (You'll have to read the post, if you missed it.. there's video and everything!)

Once the explanation was over "Ok.." I say as I adjust my frame accordingly "How does this go again? And if you spell it I'm gonna smack you." I finish with a giggle... The last time I asked Largo "How does this go?" he spelled it for me T-A-N-G-O... which is a teaching method, but Largo had just spelled it, not like in the rhythm of the dance or anything.

Not realizing this Rocky must have thought I just didn't care for the teaching method.. so he went "Slow, slow, slow, quick, slow." As we started stepping.

Oh yeah.. Tango is on my list of things to learn... for sure. Mostly because this is the first pro I've had to teach it to me with such interest and passion about the dance. I would be a complete and total fool to not take advantage of the pro I have and his strengths. Besides.. I can still learn the tail end of my majors for the Silver test I'm going to have to go through when I'm back in my ballroom shoes... but this is like a 100% new perspective on American Smooth and I'm excited about it!

We worked on improving my promenade (the new way is awesome!) and a couple of new to me Tango steps.. one has an arm behind the back hand change, which we switched to an over the head hand change... it's just too awkward to do the behind the back move while I am still this round, that in itself is enough to keep my butt doing the workouts I don't like so that we can do that move as it's supposed to be.

The lesson ended on Tango.. and I think both Rocky and I were pleased and impressed with the way the lesson went!

Dancing is powerful enough to make my outlook on everything change... I LOVE IT!

Not only that.. but with the exception of a few clunky feeling heel leads... I actually felt graceful tonight! ME! GRACEFUL!!! YAY!


Which leads me to this question for you... my silent readers... if you are a dancer...what is that feeling you strive for on the floor??

Resisting the Cave

Well I can't say that today was any better than yesterday.  In fact in many ways it was unfortunately worse. I'm in near full panic mode... or I was at least for a good portion of the day. I even had a meeting with my manager, where I actually started crying. Yep, me, who tries to not cry at all if I can help it and definately not in public boo hooed in a meeting at my place of work.

It was mid afternoon as I attempted to continue to focus on my work and use it as a distraction from my personal hell, I realized what I was fighting... I have felt like I've been fighting since last week, some invisible foe that I just couldn't beat. Then I figured it out! It's my cave! My cave want's me back and I don't want to have anything to do with it!!

So what is my "cave" you ask? Well you know that unexplained reason I'd stop writing to the blog and then come back all gun-ho and ready to live life again? That was my cave that made me dissapear. I suppose you could call it depression in conventional terms. I prefer the term "cave".  My cave has a lovely couch and cable and it's temperature regulated, there are even some stalagmites that support the sofa. :-) I however REFUSE absolutely REFUSE to go back in... I'm resisting, and in some moments it's taking every fiber of my mental strength to do it.

Even my status on Facebook stated that all I wanted to do is crawl under the covers and wait for the world to go away. I'm generally reasonably optimistic on Facebook, even in the darkest of times.

I just can't believe I'm faced with these feelings again, the feeling of being lost, and so out of control. I even called my MOM... I hate to call my parents when I, a full grown adult capable of anything I need to be had to call my mom.

I just didn't know what to do, where to go, what to plan for. Mom assured me that no matter what I always have family. Which did actually make me feel a little better.

I then went about my evening making sure my daily goals were being met... I made the Rumba practice, with some really good feeling Cuban motion, trying diligently to get my hips and knees to work that infinity motion, I think I might have done it right all of twice, and not even consecutively. I'll take it though!  I made it through a short cardio work out at the hotel gym. Not long enough but better than nothing, the endorphins are making me feel a little better which I still am reminding myself about starting. 

Eating today was pretty much the same as yesterday, not a drop of anything hit my stomach until 2pm, I was too busy, and sad to eat today, which is really really bad, and probably my biggest problem. I don't eat frequently enough which then shuts down my metabolism and just helps me pack on the weight. So I guess I'm going to have to make a goal of eating more frequently... I am fully aware of how strange that sounds AND I know I'm not the only one that eats that way! (That doesn't make it proper, I know.)

I'm feeling better, and as much as I want to crawl into bed and wish the world away, I can't actually sleep... the lights go off and my mind sets to racing. Something has to be done about that, really soon!

Tomorrow is another day, and it's a day with a dance lesson! I bet that will help...

I have a question though... when you get stressed what's your "cave" like?

Small Triumphs, Big Frustrations

So today was a bit of a mix... Work went reasonably well even though it was wicked busy, in the middle of the busy I found out that even my insurance company thinks my landlord is a piece of work, seriously that's what my rep said "Wow, I thought you were exaggerating about her, she is a piece of work!"

Here's the kicker... The whole reason all of this started? Simply because I wanted to make sure that all the people who had to make the final determination on when I'm moving back were on the same page. I've decided that my landlord is simply not human and thinks of her tenants as nothing more than cattle with big dollar signs on our foreheads. So, truly wonderful neighbors or not, I'm pretty sure I can't possibly work with someone like this. All I want is my home back, and I've dotted every "i" crossed every "t" that's been asked of me and it's still not enough? Maybe owning my own place but being broke is better than renting from a tyrant and having a savings account.

I came back to my hotel after work, got the work out in that I said I would! Made me feel a million times better! Then set to work about getting everything together, because now I once again don't know if I'm moving Friday or next Friday. Which puts a big pressure over my whole life.

In other news... I made more progress in the healthy eating... I ate well.. for the one meal I had a chance to eat... *sigh*

Ah well... tomorrow is another day and I'm going to bed early so that I can tackle the day as it should be tackled.

OH! I added a goal for this week... I must practice one technique element a day for at least 10 minutes straight, I think this will mostly be accomplished through Rumba technique, but it has to be done. It's probably going to be a while before I can get into the studio for more than just my one lesson.


I'll take a day with small triumphs over none at all any day in hindsight.... on to the next day and work on improvements on what I started today.

I Get My Home Back When? Stress Causes me to Prepare Differently for This Coming Week.

Oh this past week hurt... it hurt a lot. It started out ok though with a pretty decent lesson and then went down hill from there. First the kittens got sick, so I ran them up to the vet... discovered their white blood cell count was high, so they were obviously fighting off something. Left with directions for liquid antibiotics and instructions to monitor their intake and output for the next several days. While working from home and watching their every move, work became rather hectic causing some additional hours to be devoted in that direction.

In the process of cleaning up litter boxes after incidents I dare not describe at 3 in the morning, which was after I'd already been working late and trying to get some kind of rest, I had heard from my landlord that my apt would be ready for April 1st.

I was elated by that news! I called my insurance agency to let them know, so they could extend my hotel reservation to the proper date. I was then told by my insurance company that the restoration company working on my apartment would be finished March 25th. Ok... Also a date I could work with...if I have the proper advanced knowledge. It would be a tight squeeze, but I could get the symphony of tasks that would need to be accomplished that Friday in place a week earlier than originally thought.

I called my Landlord again to let her know what the insurance was saying, Insurance telling me to plan a move for March 25th, Landlord telling me to find a couch to crash on for a week because it's completely up to her when I move in.... oh.. and the rent will be going up when my lease is up in June. (Can we just get me back into my home please first!!!)

This whole moving drama didn't end officially until Saturday when I once again called insurance and said "Ok, you ya'll are telling me that as of right now you can't extend my reservation, but my landlord is telling me it's not up to you when I can move back it's up to her... from my point of view as of this moment I'm looking at a possible 7 days of essential homelessness if there is a gap of time between the restoration company being finished and the landlord's inspections. 

With all of this news plus my furbabies being ill, plus work getting a bit hectic... I felt like I was right back at the week of the fire when I had to orchestrate everything as fast as possible to move forward. I usually thrive on a bit of stress, but THAT was ridiculous. I could feel that I was hanging on to sanity by a thread. Which also added the thoughts that this has got to be better, I have other plans in addition to all this... I sat and stared at this blog at 3am on 3 separate occasions, wanting to write but the energy and words just wouldn't make it to my fingertips.

So then this begs the question if I made it to the hotel gym... I did... not every day as I'd hoped due to some kitten (Salsa) letting me chase her around for a half hour each morning for her medication....(I'm not her favorite yet) that unexpected activity ate into my allotted gym time. BUT... I did make it three times for 30min brisk walk on the treadmill with a 5 min warm up. (35 min total).

It wasn't until Saturday that I was able to potentially settle, best as I could, my future living situation. The insurance company has assured me that if the inspections are not finished on my apartment they will not make me move out of the hotel with no place to go, so that was a huge load off my mind. I now have the date to plan.

As I put this past week and weekend to bed, I look forward to a fresh Monday and setting some new goals... I work better with goals, and with being honest about them. So here we go with this week's goals. Try as I might I am not the type that can just fly through life by the seat of my pants... well I can.. but I end up missing a whole lot. Not only that but the forseeable future is going to be a mad house, just as my living situation is set to calm down, the work situation will be steadily ramping up and somewhere in all of that I am fiercely hanging on to my personal life and making that an equal priority with everything else.

Goals for this week...
1- Get enough sleep 4-5 hours every single night isn't going to cut it.
2- Get one 40 min workout (this week including a warm up) in every day, not including the official dance lesson.
3- Make good food choices, I know how to do this and haven't I'm taking it one meal at a time.
4- Begin to build a more concrete schedule so Time Management is easier. My greatest weakness right now is my lack of time management I need to hone those skills.

4 Solid goals to start, it's going to be hour by hour this week. I have to get it together and this is the best way to start. So here's my question for you, dear readers, what goals do you set for yourselves and what do you do/how do you feel when you've met them? What about when you aren't able to meet them?

Anyone want to take the over under on how my week goes? How many of you think I'll actually make all 4 goals? Well you'll see how we go as the week progresses....

Don't forget! Look to the left and see that you can get posts directly into your inbox! Not only that but I want to hear from YOU! Click on the word "comments" below and leave me your thoughts! We can even have a debate if you want! :-)

Lesson Day! Rhythm, Rhythm... and oh Look! More Rhythm!!

This lesson happened back on Monday, I have had it partially finished since then, but had a couple of major issues pop up this week and so...it's a little late..but here you go! This week's lesson:

I was running a little behind but I still got to the studio in enough time to change my shoes and see a few people. They were all talking about the International Ballroom class Rocky teaches, I guess there was some very interesting technique stuff regarding Tango. I must make it a point to attend this class I think.

I was chatting with some friends when I hear from behind me... "Kat..." I turn and it's Rocky standing there waiting for me.
"Oh! Is it time?" I ask, he nods, I immediately turn to my dance friends "Excuse me I have to go, talk to you later!" and take Rocky by the hand.
"Today, is a Salsa warm up." He states with a small grin.
"Really!? On1 and everything??" I excitedly ask back.
He thinks about it and nods, picked a song and off we went.

Interesting thing about this Salsa... we tried for Mambo a few times too! Personally I think we did pretty well, in fact I can almost feel it in my body when I think of Mambo that I can move On2. I am very excited by this! I'll have to practice some... I know I have some Mambo/Salsa's on my MP3 player. Oooo.. wouldn't it be cool if I could decide which one I wanted to do to any Mambo Salsa song??? That would be a totally awesome trick!

A few short minutes later we were warmed up and Rocky headed over for my dreaded book.
Now I do love my book, it has a lot of HISTORY in it... it's got my day one lesson, notes from past teachers, scores from past tests... I just don't see what it has to do with present day anymore... Rocky notes my distaste for my book and reminds me "It's not for you, it's for me."

Oh right! I forget that while he's been dancing forever he hasn't been dancing the Fred Astaire Syllabus forever... so I will no longer complain when he pulls out my book.

First dance we worked on officially was Cha Cha. Oh boy I can't wait until I can do what I did with that dance again! I'm getting closer I can feel it. We worked on the older steps, the Manhattan Roll -out (a personal fave), the Cupid breaks (other studio's call this one the "Turkish Towel") we'd stop for a second, Rocky would refer to the book... ask me if I knew a step and since I pretty rarely keep the names and numbers straight I'd tell him to lead it.

One step that he started to lead is from a part of the Syllabus that was Implemented long after I started, it involves knee lifts. I never officially learned it, but the one time it was taught to me I protested that it is not a followable step. From the position of the two partners there is no way for the lead to cue a knee lift. Which in a closed dancing lead/follow situation is ridiculous to me. Both of my prior teachers were more interested in the main Bronze portion of the syllabus to really get me involved in these steps, so if they're followable I can probably keep up, but it's not fair to me to pull a step that I can't follow and makes me look like the fool part of the partnership because I don't have the "routine" memorized. I stated as much to Rocky and I'm pretty sure I hit a sore spot. Meh... we moved on to a more followable version of grapevine which is leadable, thank you.  Although Rocky sped it up and it wasn't long at all before it was too quick for me.

"You get warm quick huh?" Rocky asked.
I'm not entirely sure how he meant it but I never take comments like that well... I responded with "Yeah I do...it will get better."
 When what I wanted to say was "Yeah I do, you would too if you were trying to come back to dancing wearing about 60 extra pounds since you stopped, and still nursing an ankle injury!!!" Glad I kept all that in check though... It's best not to alienate the pro as much as possible.

After that we worked a bit on where Rocky wanted to see passing feet in Cha Cha vs Lock Steps. I do Lock Steps out of habit, and I suppose part of the steps should be passing.. I have trouble executing a Passing step where I actually think it's decent.. it feels way too much like scooting  Then Rocky brought up the nemisis again "Well since you don't compete, I guess it's not important, I like the look of lock steps better anyway."

I could have decked him.

"Look I know I don't compete, but I do have to test and, [the judge that tests us] likes me and all but he's going to mark me down if I'm not doing the right thing!"


"Not on that step!" Rocky retorts, it was past the portion of the syllabus I had been tested on already.

"Not the point. I want to learn it if it's the right way." I had calmed down a little bit.

_____Rant Alert____
I really hate that though.. like I'm just there to flit around and say I ballroom dance... at least that's how "Well you don't compete so it doesn't matter." sounds to me. I actually want to be able to dance, if I can't afford to compete I want to look like I do actually compete when people see me dance. I want people to watch my all non dancer looking self me and say you know what... she pretty much burns the floor... and I can't do that if my pro keeps telling me "Well you don't compete so it doesn't matter." IT MATTERS! I wouldn't stay as a non competitive student at one of the most highly skilled and accomplished studios in the area if it didn't matter!  I know I have to do the work outside the studio to get it, that I don't take enough lessons to be where I want, it's the lessons that inspire me to be a better dancer and if I'm being told "it doesn't matter because I don't compete" That doesn't make me better.. it makes me pissed.

____Rant Complete____

After Cha Cha was a nice easy going East Coast Swing where we worked on the Chicken Walk move..which at first felt like a switch over to West Coast... I haven't danced West Coast since RT left so that kind of freaked me out. I also can't remember the last time I did the run run run, turn, lockstep, swivel, wiggle walk back to partner step either... AND it seems like that whole section after the follow turns away from the lead had changed too... We tried it a couple of times. It felt ok...but.

"Ok my feet are a mess when you're not looking.. no I don't mean to say if you're not looking I cheat, what I'm saying is in that small space of time my feet are definitely not doing all that they're supposed to." I try to explain.

"Oh, ok..." Rocky chuckles "I will look this time."

He did and then he pointed out what I wasn't doing..which was just about everything.. so that's a personal project.. gotta bring the foot speed back up and learn how to do spiral, locksteps, pivot, in the span of like 4 beats.

There was a bit of a debate on that one too... because I swear the last time it was shown to me it didn't have all that... I suggested I learned it wrong.... I was informed instead that they change or modify steps all the time. (Way to make it sound like my former pro didn't let the details of that step slide). :-)

I really just kind of became combative after the one statement I'll just say I don't like. I do still push myself though... I've always done that. I always want to do a step one more time or ask about a lead something like that... I would hope that it shows my desire to understand the skill and mechanics behind the step which will in turn help me learn it..but who the heck knows.

We finished the lesson with a healthy dose of Rumba... one of these days I'm going to have to bring my hips back into the equation... I'm not walking out of the dance studio sore enough.

I also realized this lesson was all Rhythm... which means I'm going to have to ask for smooth next time around. It was actually a good lesson... I did feel good about the dancing part of it anyway.

I have the rest of the week to stew and practice and process... It's been a really rough week, which I'll tell you about tomorrow.. but I'm still fighting! I'm NOT going back into the cave!!!

Oh! Thank you for your comments too! A couple of you have commented this week on some new and old posts. I appreciate it, I do love to know what you're thinking and welcome the feedback!

I am curious.... without actually identifying your pro, what is the most aggravating thing he/she has ever said to you during a lesson?

Weekend Recap, Am I Living in Fear? NOT Anymore!

Hi Everyone!
I hope you all had a great weekend! Happy Pre-St. Patrick's Day!
My weekend started on Friday night with a very nice Dance Party at the studio, where I actually got several dances in, most notably two Cha Cha's where my leads took my written words and used them against me by leading me into that Open Cross Over Break, The lead starts with what I think is an open break but no, I am presented with my lead's flat palm which tells me he's going to "push" me into a spin...so I spin...face the opposite direction, once again I'm presented with an open palm to be "pushed" in the other very left like direction and then AGAIN back to right and the move is over.  Admittedly the first time, with my first Cha Cha partner the Cha was slow enough that I executed the move in what I would call a passable manner, second time I was not so lucky.

I also got several dances in with Michael of Bonnie's Belle Gowns, he's always such a joy to dance with! He makes sure to snag me for a Salsa and on this night we also did a Rumba! I'm getting a small bit better now too so I'm enjoying every step a lot more than a few weeks ago.

It was a little later when Rocky picked me up for my third Cha Cha of the evening, he started the dance by air boxing a little, and I didn't get the reference (duh).

We had a bit of a back and forth about his reading the blog and actually really liking it. Which makes me feel great! It's much nicer when the characters in my life appreciate that I write about it. NOW I can proceed with lessons and working with my new pro Rocky as it should be. We had an ok Cha Cha better than anticipated by me anyway. Shortly after that I headed out for my friends' and mine Friday tradition, where we go out to unwind after a dance party and chill out before heading home.


There was some very exuberant discussion about working out at this little post party gathering, which made me feel bad about not hitting my workouts as hard this past week. It made me question why I wasn't pushing myself as hard as I know I could/should. In the end a couple of us kind of came up with a plan to kind of encourage each other. So that's promising, I have got to get my butt in gear... I'm so ready...and I'm SO making up excuses to start "tomorrow." 


On to Saturday, I was on call for work, which entails being ready to answer calls and e-mails all weekend, now there is no reason why I couldn't bring my blackberry into the hotel gym with me to get at least 30-40 min on the treadmill in, but did I? No. Why? Because I was on call and used that as an excuse to not to.


Jumping to Sunday I did manage to get out of the hotel for a few hours, thankfully it was a slow on call Sunday, but I still didn't work out. I've mentally made all kinds of plans and commitments to my healthy life style though.


I am so there mentally, I am so ready to rock the casba and get back to the greatness that once was. Why can't I just suck it up and do it?? Then while receiving some Soap Box style lecturing from a friend, he really hit on something....



"We promise according to our hopes and perform according to our fears" - De La Rochefoucauld 

That's exactly what I've done! EXACTLY what so many of us have done in promising to do better, get better, and live life. So let's turn the tables for a second, I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do... You'll know it as we go on this journey together. What I'm going to do is tell you what I'm afraid of, and what's causing me to "perform according to my fears." 

So, huh.. well... I don't spend a lot of time focusing on my fears on a conscious level.... What it seems to come down to am I afraid of succeeding or am I afraid of failing? I'm actually kind of afraid of both. If I succeed in my goals of an honest to God healthy life...what then? Do I really know what it's like to NOT be the fat chick in the room? Not really. However I'm a long way from here to "Not the fat chick in the room." let's be honest. I do have a major fear of the unknown that I have been aware of since this whole fire business for sure. I'm not afraid to be confident anymore that's one thing I definitely take away from starting dance.

On the failure side, what's lurking in those dark corners? Well the idea of being injured again for sure comes to mind, but that's not what really pulled me off the path to begin with, it certainly hurt my return, but what originally got me off the path was unemployment. Not having finances, and being made to feel terrible by some in my life for even attempting to spend what I had on dancing just ruined it for me, and in my case distance does NOT make the heart grow fonder, I more have the out of sight out of mind reaction to things. And... AND.. how much a fool was I for being made to feel bad for trying to do the best thing that ever popped into my life? Pffft... Yeah hindsight is 20/20 and it's not pretty.

So if we distill this even further, I'm afraid of the unknown, and of a repeat performance based on past experiences.

That makes me want to ask...what are you afraid of? Care to share? You can post anonymously by clicking on the word "comments" at the bottom of this post.

Ok... well.. wow.... that's all very overwhelming for me. I think what I have to do is take this one day at a time, tomorrow isn't scary... next week isn't either... Where I could be a  month from now? That starts to make me a little nervous. This battle out of the dark place, or the cave as it has so often been referred to, on the public front is going well, now it's time for the private side (which isn't all that private...I'm a blogger) 

Head first, blinders on to the fear... I'm going to promise based on my hopes and outperform based on my actual capability. We already know that I'm stronger than I even realize... so now I just have to tap into it. Care to come a long for the ride? It's gonna be a good one.Ups, Downs, Twists, and Turns... some of you even get to actually witness it, and you'll definitely be reading about it.

Last week I hit the gym three times for some paltry at best workouts... this week I'm going to do my very best to get there every day... we could place some bets on that too! How many times are you going to hit the gym and/or the dance floor this week!

The New Kids... Blog Mascots??

With the passing of Sheri and Wyo back in December, I had written about Second Chance Pet Adoptions and their kindness in helping me provide a home for new kids (read: cats/kittens). I am VERY pleased to announce that I now have three fur ball children to call my very own.

They were Born on December 17th, a mere 4 days after the fire that took Sheri and Wyo, and they are from the same litter.

Instead of the two I had anticipated getting, I have THREE! I couldn't leave just one baby behind!

I present to you, very proudly, Salsa, Tango, and Cha Cha!

L to R Salsa (f), Cha Cha (f), Tango (m)

They are just over 9 weeks old in that picture, that was the first morning they discovered they could jump on the furniture.

Why the names? Funny you ask! I have never had a pet that had a "human" name.... my last pets were named for the city and state I was born in, these pets are named after a dance style that I love. I picked Salsa, because it's my favorite dance and it's cute for a girl, Cha Cha because it was another dance that made a good little girl name, and Tango because I needed a boy's name to go along with the girls AND as a small homage to my employer that runs Petango an adoptable pet search engine. My employer and co-workers were amazing in reacting about the fire.

This blog has never, and will never be about my pets, but since you all have been with me through it all and have supported me through everything I thought I'd at least introduce you.

It won't be long before I'm tripping over them in the kitchen trying to perfect my spiral turns again.  :-)

Oh Yeah, This is What A Lesson with Kat is All About!

Wow! This is a first, and I can't promise this is going to happen every week.. but I just had my lesson tonight and here I am writing about it!

I had a good lesson too! The kind that just makes the world feel like it can be conquered, which is possibly my most favorite feeling that ever was. I headed up to the studio after work not really sure what to expect. I also wanted to try and get some Pączki's it is the one day they're everywhere. Unfortunately I wanted to make sure they were the good kind, grocery store bakery wouldn't do and I didn't plan enough in advance. Next time.

I walked in early as I like to be, getting to the studio early is key for me. I need a few minutes to shrug off the day and prepare to focus on dancing and not waste my lesson because my head is full of the day's residue. Shoes changed I talked to KIT for a little bit, and kind of flitted around testing my shoes on the floor, making sure my legs were going to be up for the challenge. I saw my new pro teaching a couple and they seemed to be having a good lesson. That was nice to see.

Lesson time! As my pro approached he made a face, and I realized... I got the super secret memo! We were both wearing pink shirts!! HA! We warmed up with a little slow hustle, as one of the newer pros came around, and then faded away because it was lesson time. It was really a slow just kind of a "how was your day" kind of a thing. He then went for my book, and I rolled my eyes. He referenced it real quick put it down and asked me if I wrote about our last lesson. (He's very intrigued by this whole blog thing)
"Yes! I did... OH! That reminds me it's been suggested that I actually let you pick your own nickname...so what would you like to be called ?"
He laughs, "You can call me what you want..."
"Well I was thinking of 'Rocky'." I reply

Again he laughed and asked me why, so I told him. He said it would be ok for me to use that. So another blog first, a pro actually gets to weigh in on what his blog nickname is! So my new pro...is Rocky! :-)

Immediately after that exchange we picked up with Cha Cha and he lead me into the ONE move I will never like... Open Cross-Over Breaks I think is what they're called, they're old.. at the top of the syllabus, but I can't spin to the left and feel like I'm in control so I don't like them at all, which I explained last time, and he remembered as he started the move. I finished it, the whole time saying how I didn't like it, I do believe if it's lead it's my job to follow it. Ballroom dancing is a team sport so we have to work as a team to keep the whole thing looking good. As the extreme amature in this new partnership I fail to hold up my end of the bargain a lot but I'll get better.

Still working on Cha Cha we moved to some more advanced Bronze steps that I did ok with, I still think Rocky is being easy on  me, I suppose there will come a day when I will long for this kind of treatment. There is one move in particular, no idea what it's called but it's got a really fast spin at the end and I can never seem to get back fast enough, Rocky said it was fine. I'll take that today!

Next up was Swing.. which I agreed to only if it was a slower swing for my ankle and I don't think I'd ever danced East Coast swing with Rocky before. Ah East Coast, my very first ballroom love, you're still a blast, and you can still kick my ass. We worked a lot on the "back to back" move (Fred Astaire students know what I 'm talking about) It's one of my favorites, triple step, back to back triple step, front triple step, swivel swivel, turn out arm extended, spin back in to the left (the only left spin I can manage to pull off) to meet my partner face to face again with a triple step. Well for the first time in my life I was told to NOT extend my arm on the turn out...

This of course caused great debate of why and how and give me a minute to remember and all that. Rocky is right though it does look better that way, and we know how much I hate it when my pro is right if I'm fighting him on something. We worked that move over a few more times with some encouragement from TNT who was watching from the sidelines. Back to the book to review, Rocky asks why I don't work on Tango...
"Well you know, it's smooth and most of my former pros have been shorter than me so that made a proper Tango frame kind of difficult, and since I never liked smooth anyway...."
He left it alone, I didn't get the chance to tell him I'd like to work on Tango if he wants to.

Next up was some Rumba we spent the majority of the rest of the lesson on Rumba, which was good. I think Rumba is the best way to get used to a lead. We also got to chat more during this time and some parts had Rocky saying... "Ok...write about this..." and "Don't write about this..." Well I'll be honest with you my total and complete recall on lessons isn't quite as sharp as it once was. I know I'm not writing about anything he didn't want me to write about. I must remember to explain to him that I don't write to detail every conversation we have... it's more about what we do, how I react to it and how I think he is reacting to me.

There are lots of women in my situation, not exactly confident in their appearance and yet still desperately want to dance and feel comfortable doing it. It is my hope that my my telling my lesson stories it helps these women understand that it's ok to get out there and DO IT... take lessons, work on a move you don't feel so comfortable with, tell your pro why you like or don't like something. LAUGH about it, and then work some more. Some of the fun stuff that happens in the middle is for entertainment value and it helps whatever tension I might be feeling about what's going on in the dancing.

Ok wow... major divergence there, back to Rumba. We laughed a lot in this lesson, I had trouble getting into Rumba character (Don't worry Rocky, we'll get there.. I still need to get used to you and then game on.) I also managed to lead myself in a wayward underarm turn at some point and Rocky asked if he had lead it.

"Nope, but you do follow very well!" I retort.

He laughed a lot, I was so glad he seemed to be having a good time. That's important to me too, that my pro enjoy working with me, it makes me more comfortable learning and getting out of my comfort zone.

We went back to my book to review some steps, and again Rocky remarked "Do you really not work on Tango??"

Well no, and this was possibly the third time he'd mentioned it... so I have a sneaking suspision I'll be working on Tango in the near future. I will admit that I think height wise Rocky is really probably the best suited pro I've ever danced with so this might just be the time to start working on it in earnest.

While at my book I asked if Rocky knew what my favorite dance of all time was... I then pointed to the section labeled Mambo that had a huge "SALSA" written over it by RT over two years ago. This sparked the great Salsa/Mambo debate. Turns out we both don't care for dancing on the 2nd beat, well yet anyway. So I suggested we work on it a little, if I can get going On2 I can pretty much keep it up... Largo taught me that much. Then again if Rocky was ok with just dancing On1 that would suit me just fine too.

Not sure what we're going to do about that one, because I can't live without a Salsa fix every now and again, and we both need to work on this whole Mambo concept. We worked on it for a bit, and we had it..but something went wonky so we ended up on 1 in the end. I do love my Salsa, even if it is really just the Fred Astaire Mambo Syllabus on 1. We'll revisit that whole On2 situation during the next lesson.

We finished this lesson with the traditional "High Five" and then a quick hug after scheduling for the next lesson I, made sure to say "Happy Pączki Day!!" 
"Heh, Happy Pączki Day!, oh and Happy Woman's Day!" He replied as he started to head for the back of the studio.
I was way impressed, no one actually ever wished me a happy Woman's Day before! "Hey, Thank you!" I smiled in return and then continued about my business to head home for the night. 

It's all or Nothing

Time moves incredibly fast, and sometimes excruciatingly slow. On the one side I can not believe we are just short of three months since the fire, on the other hand I feel like I've lived in this one bedroom hotel room forever.

I truly live an all or nothing life, when I'm in the game I'm in it all the way no holds barred moving like a steam locomotive that no one can stop. It's been a long time since I lived life on that side of things. I feel like I've left the "all" side of things and firmly planted myself on the "nothing" side. Physically I'm pretty much back at day one of dancing, only I am fully aware of the path I must travel to love life again. Mentally I can feel the shift from being motivated to do NOTHING to being motivated to do EVERYTHING.

This time is different though, I'm not looking to the outside for total motivation, I'm learning to find it inside. All the posts I've written about finding my inspiration I still believe in, but this time I am using my own experiences as an example of my strength. Think about it, in the past two years I have been unemployed, injured twice over, and had every earthly possession taken away by fire. You know what? I'M STILL HERE!

I'm still the same, albeit stronger, more resilient, and excited for the immediate and distant future. I am lucky, blessed, and honored to be surrounded by the people I have found. I can not even imagine having a better sense of family and friendship if I had actually hand picked each of "my people." So now it's time to stop resting on my laurels and letting myself down. I'm finished with "slothing" Sundays all day on the couch and marathon sessions of movies that just make me wish I'd get off my Ass.

I've kept in my life all I need to keep. The dancing - that will never change, in some form I will always be involved in ballroom. The people - Nature had actually weeded out the one's I don't need a long time ago. The arts and creativity- can go dormant from time to time but I'm working on putting it back into my life, one step at a time. Life is way to short and unexpected to dilly dally making decisions about what to and not to do.

I think I was mentally preparing to leap forward back into my healthy lifestyle once I moved into my home. It will signify the end of all this fire business, but I'm ready... I'm ready now. So Now it will be. No more waiting for the timing to be right, I can't, try as I might, script my life (duh).

Time for bed, I have a gym to hit when I wake up... and it's going to hurt.  

First Lesson with my New Pro!

As I get back into the swing of things, I wasn't about to let Largo leaving stop me from moving forward with my getting back on track. Not a chance! I promptly selected my next pro and it was time to get cracking!

A little about him, his favorite Style is International Ballroom (formerly known as Standard), he's European trained and has had a very successful upbringing in ballroom. He's still young so he's got his whole ballroom career in front of him stateside. He also has a wicked sense of humor and I've heard he's a very dedicated instructor from some of my fellow students of dance. Fortunately I have had the opportunity to dance with him at some parties recently and I had an idea of his leading style.

Somehow we found my book, the one that says what steps I've learned and everything... it is WILDLY out of date, it has a big X through Waltz, a line through Foxtrot and probably hasn't been updated in nearly a year and a half, which I mentioned, my pro was clearly unfazed by this.

We opened with a warm up in Hustle, I tried to not warm up with a Hustle but it is kind of built into the Fred Astaire lesson plan that a warm up happens with Hustle. I'll have to work on that for future lessons, I prefer to warm up with Salsa or Mambo or just about anything except Hustle. I appreciate the wanting to get the blood flowing and all that, but I'm kinda over hustle, unless it's at a party or something.

Next we started chatting, we all know I could spend my whole lesson chatting and dancing, only we weren't dancing. I don't even remember what we were talking about, except that I kept asking him what he'd been told about me. I know there was some kind of back story given, despite what he had said. After a bit I noticed we were just standing and talking, so I looked him dead in the eye...

"Can you talk and dance at the same time? I know I can." followed by holding up my arms in frame and a big smile.

So we did some Rumba Basic while we chatted... I asked "You know I don't compete right? I don't have the money for it and I'd rather put what I have towards lessons." He nodded like he understood, and then without missing a beat.
"Ok, How about June?" (June is a big inter-regional Fred Astaire competition).
I didn't respond but Ha! Oh yeah.. I think we'll get along ok.

We worked a lot on Rumba, I think it was mostly because this was the getting to know you lesson, we also did a little Fox Trot, where I learned my new pro preferred Smooth to Rhythm, but was going to be competing in Rhythm with his partner who prefers that style. Now personally I would like to think that if I preferred a particular style I'd get to compete in it, but I guess that's just me. It was nice to hear what his competition plans might be though.

I also mentioned several times that things were different, which I do, I mention things seem different to me so that my instructor knows what kind of learning curve I'm on with the leading and following. Now he tried to apologize and change his leading style or something, which was not what I wanted, and I told him as such. Any pro I've worked with will tell you the first couple of lessons are filled with my stating "Well that's different." I'm more than happy to adapt, it only makes me a better follower anyway.

I also mentioned that I write, which went over pretty well.
"You did hear that I write about my lessons right?" I inquire between Fox Trots.
"No, what do you write?" he retorts.
"About lessons, about stuff I do with dance, a bunch of stuff."
"Oh..." looks at watch "...so how much longer do I have my job?" he jokes.
"Ha, very funny! No, actually most people get a kick out of it..." I then went to describe the number of readers I have and how long I've been doing it.
"Ok, you write, then I will Act." He says, followed by a little gentlemanly bow, which I thought was adorable.
"Go ahead, try...see how long you can keep that up."

During one of the rounds of Foxtrot I noticed I wasn't doing heel leads and I caught myself. So I told my partner... "Ok, if you ever catch me not doing heel leads you have to catch me because I haven't worked on smooth a lot so I'm still working on that."
He looks at me dead in the eye "Well, since you don't compete it's not so important..."
"Oh no, oh no you don't! It doesn't matter, I want to learn how to dance, and if heel leads are the proper way to do this, then that's what I want to learn."
In that one statement about heel leads not being important a seed of doubt was planted. If he's not going to take me seriously then I don't need to work with him. I tried to leave it alone, but it's stuck with me. We'll see... this was only our first lesson together.

The rest of the lesson ended with Waltz to a song he mentioned that he really liked... It also seemed to go ok from my side of things as far as following. We also ended up with a bit of an audience from the work out class that had just disbursed and one of my friends being slack jawed that I was waltzing. I also caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and cringed. UGH.

The lesson ended pretty well, I have another scheduled and I'm working on my plan of attack so that I no longer cringe when I'm in front of the mirror. Life is almost back to normal since the fire so it's time to get back to it.

Anyone have any ideas as to a good nickname for my new pro? I have a couple of ideas but I'm not in love with any of them... tell me your ideas! 

First Spectating of 2011... Indiana Challenge!

Image Courtesy of Indiana Challenge

Well it's about time I got my competition cheer on! I seriously go on Ballroom Competition withdrawal. I suppose it would be the same for anyone who has a particular sporting event that they just love, mine just happens to be Ballroom Dancing.

Last weekend a group of friends and I journeyed down to Merrillville Indiana to catch the professional competition known as Indiana Challenge. I had attended this competition with a few of the same folks last year as well, and I do always like to make a repeat appearance if a comp is good. I like this one because it's not too far, it's smaller compared to some of the others, I know or have seen most of the competitors before, and possibly get a glimpse at what professionals are new to the circuit.  As a side bonus I usually get to catch up in person with TNG, who is now teaching out of a studio in that area.

Our merry band of fans headed towards the boarder early enough so that we could eat at the pub in the hotel, last year we ended up with a big group and it was a lot of fun, this time it was a little more subdue but still nice. While puttering around I ran into TNG, seeing him always makes me squeak with glee (I'm really not much of a squeaker in general) I'm just proud to see someone I've known since the day they graced the dance floor doing so well. Before long it was time to find our way towards the ballroom. 

STP and HFC from Emerald Star Ball 2010

Heading down I knew that TSD and FAF were going to be competing and I had heard around that STP might be making an appearance but that was by no means confirmed. Sometime between dinner and comp time I ran into STP in the hallway and low and behold....

"Hey [STP]...you're carrying....dance stuff!" I stated with glee!
"Uh..yeah well...you know..." he kind of mumbled.
"Yay! Who are you dancing with?" I inquire as I follow his gaze to.... HFC! "Ah, you must be dancing with this lovely partner right here!" I exclaim as I give HFC a hug hello. (She was very obviously dancing as she had the pretty hair piece already in place).

Yipee! Getting to see STP and HFC hit the floor again! I was so pleased! They had retired last year as an American Rhythm and 9 Dance competitive couple, and I knew seeing this competition tonight did not mean they were coming back, they were there to have a bit of fun and, I later learned, that they missed having fans cheer for them. (Awww).

Nearly immediately after my exchange with STP and HFC, TSD and FAF came on by to say hi before the all went off to prepare. One of the most genuine things that always comes from these professionals is their appreciation of our attendance when they compete, this makes it that much easier to make the effort to come cheer them on. I happily made my way to the ballroom.

I had called in advance to reserve our tickets, unfortunately for whatever reason the seats we got weren't exactly together but they were very close, and that's fine really, the chair is only for sitting in between events I'm interested in anyway. Although I will tell you that in the process of trying to get the seats situated TNG hooked me up and introduced me to one of the competition organizers which was very kind. (This is one of the many reasons why it pays to be out going and do what you can to stay in touch with people you meet along the way.) I was extrordinarily impressed by his reaction to my name, he thought it was very cool. I was happy as a clam just waiting for my preferred events to start. Get me in a room full of ballroom people add competition and hand me a glass of wine, I'm set for the night!


It was pretty clear that on the professional side of things this is somewhat of a "rebuilding" comp. What I mean by that is a LOT of new faces. Especially in American Rhythm! STP and HFC were the first to compete and it was very evident that they were the most polished out there. At one point, I believe it was in the Semi final STP threw out a wild JUMP into the air. I've seen their routines a lot, I don't recall that ever being in there, nor do I recall seeing it re-appear in the final. He caught some good air though.

As predicted, STP and HFC came in FIRST PLACE and won Indiana Challenge Open Rhythm! CONGRATULATIONS! It's always so much fun to cheer for you both!!! 

In between heats the professionals would store their stuff near us, check in, let us know how it felt to be out there, tell us funny stories about getting ready to compete and in some cases help us cheer on their counterparts. That's always a lot of fun.

TSD and FAF (from OSB 2010)

Towards the end of the evening, it was time for TSD and FAF to hit the floor. FAF in the beautiful dress she sported at Ohio Star Ball back in November. The American Smooth portion of this evening's competition was a lot stiffer than that of American Rhythm, and I don't know as I could tell you why but it does seem to go that way frequently. These heats did feature some dancers I've seen at many other competitions and it's always good to see some familiar faces out there. If for no other reason than to have a fairly good indicator of how the professionals I'm cheering on are doing.

This event also had a semi-final, making it to the final was a cake walk for TSD and FAF, the final itself was a little harder. There were some new couples I don't recall seeing that were putting up a really good fight! We cheered our best for them and I could tell something was a bit off, I don't know what and I didn't ask...but I can generally tell when any kind of a performance is just not gelling...it's an energy that the performers give off. Had it been the kind of energy I'd felt at Ohio, I'd have claimed them the winners before the start of the Viennese Waltz, but this time I had them placed 2nd.

Turns out I was only kind of right. TSD and FAF were placed 3rd, by Rule 11. Which means they actually tied for 2nd place and Rule 11 then has the scrutineer look at the actual placements each judge has down for the tied couples and whomever has more 1st's (as an example) will get the higher placement overall. (That is a very simplified explanation of Rule 11 as I understand it) Still a very hearty CONGRATULATIONS to TSD and FAF... the year is just beginning and you all have bigger titles to take. :-)

While all this was going on I had several very lovely mini conversations with TNG, and I look very much forward to watching his career continue to progress as well.

With Indiana Challenge over and hugs from the pros thanking us for attending and cheering, we headed back to the Land of Lincoln already making plans for the next competitions to attend.